I was 24 weeks, 2 days, when out of nowhere I was being admitted to |
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I was 24 weeks, 2 days, when out of nowhere I was being admitted to the hospital and rushed into surgery for a c-section because I had a BP of 251/175, and my baby girl, Sadie Quinn, was in distress. My baby was delivered (via classic c-section) and survived only a few minutes, due to "severe preeclampsia/HELLP and low birth weight" (as printed on her death certificate). She was only 365 grams, but truly the most beautiful and precious thing I had EVER laid my eyes on. We held our beautiful baby girl for as long as we could, crying and praying that this was just a nightmare and she wasn't gone. I was in ICU for 2 nights, then moved to a floor for 2 more nights, while I recovered from the c-section and other post-surgery complications. My poor husband had to make plans from the hospital with the funeral home, something NO parent should have to ever experience. We came home a week after our baby girl was born and are now trying to recover physically and yet harder, emotionally. How do you "un-prepare" the past 6 months, how do you get past/accept your baby is gone, how do you smile when you are aching so badly inside and just want to hold your baby again? Then there are all the questions as to how this happened, why this happened, and will this happen again? |
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