The Most Traumatic Event in My Life

Posted On Wednesday, August 24, 2011  by Kristina

My husband and I had tried for almost 3 years to get pregnant.  I had given up all hope when one day in January of 2006 my period was late and I decided to take a pregnancy test.  The first one I took didn't look like it was changing after I stared at it for 30 seconds, so I just tossed it in the trash.  Later that day while I was using the bathroom I happened to look in the trash can and noticed that there were two lines on the stick.  Not just one.

The next morning I took another test, then took a shower.  When I got out I looked at the stick and noticed that there again were two lines!  I was so happy!  But I had to go to work, so when I got to work I made an appointment at my doctor's office for after work.  There I took a urine test and it was negative.  I was disheartened but they drew blood and told me that they would call me as soon as they got results.  About two hours after I left the office, a nurse had called me back and told me that yes, indeed, finally I was pregnant!

The first trimester was a normal one.  I had morning sickness, but was just nauseous all the time, I never vomited.  And I was tired and slept constantly.  As soon as my second trimester started, the morning sickness was gone, but like a light switch, I started getting migraines.  I started swelling as well but just thought it was the normal swelling that every woman gets.

My OB asked if we wanted to have the triple screen blood test taken.  That is where they test for birth defects.  I know that some people take issue with this, but Todd and I decided that we wanted to be prepared for anything that may have come along.  Unfortunately the results were abnormal, so I was sent to see a perinatologist.

That is where I first saw my baby girl.  They took high resolution photos.  Even though I have never been able to make out an ultrasound photo, I saw my beautiful baby clearly.  And there the doctor told us that she was perfect and healthy, and we didn't have anything to worry about.

It was early May when I went to see the specialist.  I only had to go back for a follow-up visit once more, and then I was done seeing him.  Or so I thought.  In July is when my blood pressure started rising, and I was swollen so much that I was put on a mild bedrest and put on a low dosage blood pressure medicine.  Then referred back to the specialist.

The day I went there was August 25th.  I was so swollen that my doctor barely recognized me.  My blood pressure was 210/120.  I was told by the doctor that I wasn't going anywhere, and that they were going to keep me for a 24 hour observation.  I was upset because the next day was my baby shower.  And what was suppose to be a 24-hour observation turned into the most traumatic and horrible 96 hours of my life.

The first day, I was miserable.  I desperately wanted to go to my baby shower, Todd had to work.  I did have a few visitors, but I really just wanted to go home.  That night when Todd got back to the hospital we played a few card games and I taught him to play UNO.  And that's when I finally realized how bad I was. A catheter was put in because I was losing some kidney functions,  I was losing my breath, it was hard for me to breathe.  The nurse came in to check on me, apparently my lungs were filling with fluid.  I was put on oxygen, and every four hours someone from radiology came in and took chest x-rays.

Sunday was worse.  Things were kind of just a blur to me.  Things happened so fast.  I remember I had a terrible headache.  Early Monday morning, I couldn't breathe at all.  A nurse came in and for some reason she was holding my legs down.  I was awake but didn't realize that I was having a seizure.  I looked over at Todd and he was crying.  I was trying to talk to him but couldn't spit anything out.

I was taken to the operating room.  Todd walked beside me and held my hand the whole time.  As I was turned to get on to the elevator, the nurse stopped Todd and told him that he couldn't go any further.  I saw him standing beside his parents, his mom hugged him.

In the operating room there were a team of doctors and nurses there.  I remember a doctor was standing by my head, whispering a play-by-play of everything that was happening.  My head and arms were strapped down to the table, and a hole was cut into my neck where an arterial catheder was placed.  Then the ventilator was put in, I was awake for it.  I felt like I was drowning.  It was at that exact moment, that I thought I was dead.

I don't remember anything afterwards, except when I woke up.  I couldn't see because I didn't have my contacts or glasses.  I heard my sister say "She's opening her eyes."  When my eyes were finally open, I saw Todd first.  I tried to sit up, but couldn't because I was still strapped to the bed.  I tried to talk but couldn't because of the ventilator.  I had no idea what time it was, what day it was, or how long I had been asleep.

I was in ICU for three days, two of those I spent on life support.  I was on dialysis.  On the third day I was taken off all machines, and was finally able to meet my sweet baby girl.  She was so tiny, I was afraid to hold her.  But I was happy to know that she was healthy except she could not maintain her body temperature.

I spent 9 days in the hospital and Audrey spent 5 weeks.  It was hard knowing that I was home and my baby wasn't.  But we made it.  In retrospect, I now know that there isn't anything that I could have done to prevent what happened to me.  I was the perfect person while I was pregnant: I ate right, drank right, exercised, and tried to stay stress-free.  I didn't smoke, drink alcohol, or do drugs.  I followed everything in the magazines and books that I read.

It still bothers me knowing everything that happened to me.  My kidneys, lungs, heart, and brain all failed me while I was trying to keep my baby inside so I didn't have an early delivery.  My physician told me that I was one of his five sickest patients, including the ones who had died.

Having more children isn't in my future.  In a nutshell, I think we are just too scared.  I always wanted more children, but what was supposed to be the most spectacular and amazing moment of any woman's life, turned out to be the most horrible for me. I don't want Todd to ever have to choose between me or our baby again.

My baby is almost five now.  I decided that I wanted to tell my story on here after reading the stories of others.  I know that I'm not the only one out there who suffered the same trauma. Thank you