Posted On Wednesday, August 31, 2011 by Ellery
God saved me as 19 years of age. I am sharing this testimony with you first, because if it hadn't been for God's divine intervention in my life, I wouldn't have made it through this traumatic event. I was raised in being told about God from my mom and grandparents, but I come from a very broken household. My parents divorced when I was 12. My dad was an alcholic and was imprisioned for DUI manslaughter for 10 years. Every day I woke up wondering what was the purpose for my life, why was I created? I struggled with feelings of depression and lonliness and tried to supress it with drugs, sex and friends. An addiction to cocanie eventually lead to a nealy fatal over-dose. After that, I chose to stop and got accepted to college. An old friend communicated to me that God sent Jesus to die for me and the sins of the world. He explained to me that all the bad things I had done, God wiped away and calls me pure and beautiful because of Jesus death on the Cross for my sins. I realized that God had a plan and purpose for my life and that only in Him could I find true satisfaction, joy, life hope and peace. I realized how detrimental sin was. That from the very begining God created man to enjoy and worship God, but humanity chose to worship itself and turned away from God. This is sin..and it has infused death, suffering and evil into every part of life. This is why God came as Jesus to die on the cross for sins of the world..to redeem humanity from the curse of death and to draw all people to Himself.
November 3, 2010 My husband and I found out we were expecting! We were so excited to start our new family! The joy of finding out you are pregnant is truly undescribable. I felt great for the whole 6 months I carried Elliot. Every check up was normal. We read all the books, took childbirth awareness classes and started to prepare as much as we could. I never really considered any serious complications for my pregnancy, however in the mornings when I would go to read the bible, pray and journal, I would continually find myself praying that God is good and faithful in times of blessing and in times of trial and suffering, that He doesn't cause the suffering, but rather carries us, holds us and comforts us the whole way through. I wondered why I was praying all these things to God. It was as if God was preparing me for what was to come...
On Easter Sunday, I had the worst headache/migraine I had ever had in my life. I waited it out until the doctors appointment we had schduled for the next day. We went to the doc apt the next day. I felt fine besides the fact that my blood pressure was 150/170. They immediately rushed me to the hospital. I was in denial about the whole thing and thought I was going to be home and resting in no time. But that was not the case. The doctor said we were just going to have to see how my condition progresses. She said that I could be on bedrest for 3 months or I could go through preterm delivery within a week. It just depended on the sickness. They put me on magnesium and continued to monitor me.
On my birthday, April 27th, 2011, I could literally feel my organs starting to fail. They pain was unbearable. It felt like all my organs were being gathered up into my rig cage and then stabbed with a knife. Everything went down hill very fast. It was all a blur. One minute I was throwing up, listening to my mom cry and watching my husband trying to remain calm..the other minute I was rushed into an emergency C-section. I just remember all the doctors and my arms being strapped down and a mask covering my face. They told me to count from 10-8 and that I would be out. Indeed, I was out. Elliot was born at 8:18am on April 28th, 2011. He weighed 2lbs 2oz. The doctors said that they had to do 5 minutes of chest compressions because he wasn't alive at birth. I hardly even remember seeing Elliot for the first time. All I remember was reaching out to his incubator when they rolled him in to the room.
Elliot stayed in the hospital for two months. His main issue was gaining weight. He dropped from 2lbs 2oz to 1lb 13oz. He also had surgery to close an open duct in his heart. Leaving the hospital each night was the hardest thing I had to do ever in my life. God literally had to carry me through this. He reminded me that His hands were bigger than mine and that I couldn't be there every second of everyday, but that HE could. God gave my husband and I real peace and real joy through it all. God is real. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. There were alot of other hard times that we experienced, but I don't want to ramble on. I just want to speak of and testify to the reality of the God. There is a God. He is not distant, but rather He is very near. He knows you and every circumstance that has taken place in your life. He redeemed you through the death and resurrection of Jesus. We can't blame him for the evil and suffering in this world. We must understand the reality and horror of sin. From the very begining we chose our own way..humanity chose to worship itself. This is all real. Not a myth. Not a fable. Read for yourself in the bible. God is the hope that I cling to, the peace that got me through such suffering and the redemption for all humanity. I don't know why some babies survive and others don't. But I do trust that God takes them up in His everlasting arms and I know those babies will never experience suffering or pain for eternity. I know that God can comfort the parents of that have been through such a loss as this, and He can carry them through and give them unspeakable joy through out such suffering and evil that surrounds us. We must not blame God, but rather trust and a have Faith that He made a way out of evil, death and suffering through Jesus Christ the Lord.
Elliot is almost 9lbs now and doing well at home. I feel to my knees, overwhelmed with thankfulness to God that our son was finally home. He still has to undergo a few more surgeries. I am thankful we have the medical care we do in this day and age. I know God will carry Elliot through these surgeries, just like He did for the two months he was in the hospital. Thank you so much for hearing me out. May God draw you to himself and may you rest in the salvation that He has provided for you through Jesus. He is near to the brokenhearted.