by whereowhere » Wed Oct 10, 2012 12:19 am
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This is an extremely painful loss to lose a child you carried and loved. I lost my twins at 21 weeks to severe preeclampsia. I decided to try again, it has been only six months, and I am attempting to be pregnant again. But I waited only six months because I am going to soon be forty years old. If you are younger, you might want to wait at least 9-12 months, but find out how long the doctors recommend you wait.
Although you are at risk for it to happen again, and it could possibly happen again the same, I think you do not need to give up the dream of a baby. It is possible you could have it again, but maybe later when the baby is older and could survive. Or it might not happen again at all. What you need to do is first get better from this experience you just went through, and you need to first recover physically. I believe it is good to research preeclampsia thoroughly so you understand it more. You also need to find a perinatologist/maternal fetal specialist and have lots of testing done before you try again. That is so that they can rule out any underlying factors. In my opinion, at a certain point, if you are not close to one, you need to be within the vicinity of a great hospital where the maternal fetal specialists can watch you closely. I do not live near a city, but when I get to around 20 weeks when preeclampsia could possibly show again, I will be moving and temporarily living in a city close to a large university hospital. The important thing is to be VERY closely monitored. It does not assure that it will not happen again, but you will be in a safe place being monitored.
I remember the hopelessness I felt immediately after my babies died. We mothers grieve our babies, but we also fear and worry for our future. Like you, I have no other children yet, so I was very afraid of never having the joy of being a mother. I just wanted to share with you some of the hope that I have developed through time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you in your very sad loss of your dear baby. Please feel free to keep talking with everyone here, the support can help so much. You are not alone.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This is an extremely painful loss to lose a child you carried and loved. I lost my twins at 21 weeks to severe preeclampsia. I decided to try again, it has been only six months, and I am attempting to be pregnant again. But I waited only six months because I am going to soon be forty years old. If you are younger, you might want to wait at least 9-12 months, but find out how long the doctors recommend you wait.
Although you are at risk for it to happen again, and it could possibly happen again the same, I think you do not need to give up the dream of a baby. It is possible you could have it again, but maybe later when the baby is older and could survive. Or it might not happen again at all. What you need to do is first get better from this experience you just went through, and you need to first recover physically. I believe it is good to research preeclampsia thoroughly so you understand it more. You also need to find a perinatologist/maternal fetal specialist and have lots of testing done before you try again. That is so that they can rule out any underlying factors. In my opinion, at a certain point, if you are not close to one, you need to be within the vicinity of a great hospital where the maternal fetal specialists can watch you closely. I do not live near a city, but when I get to around 20 weeks when preeclampsia could possibly show again, I will be moving and temporarily living in a city close to a large university hospital. The important thing is to be VERY closely monitored. It does not assure that it will not happen again, but you will be in a safe place being monitored.
I remember the hopelessness I felt immediately after my babies died. We mothers grieve our babies, but we also fear and worry for our future. Like you, I have no other children yet, so I was very afraid of never having the joy of being a mother. I just wanted to share with you some of the hope that I have developed through time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you in your very sad loss of your dear baby. Please feel free to keep talking with everyone here, the support can help so much. You are not alone.
