Dearest Kim,
So glad to see your post! I am sorry you are feeling all the overwhelming emotions with memories from your experience. About this time last year I was admitted to the hospital and then sent to another high risk hospital where lots of crap happened. It is so sad that we did not get to experience the warm fuzziness of a normal pregnancy and delivery.

I am so thankful and glad that you and Ainsley made it through. You have given so much of yourself to this board and to so many women. Because of you I know I am not alone in my experience and that means the world. I wish that none of this had happened to any of us.

I will pray for Ainsley. Please keep us updated about her health. I have seen her webpage and I must say she is a beautiful gal! A true miracle and a wonderfully proud mamma too!

Take care - sending you love and hugs during this time.
Suzanna

PS - I was on Celexa years ago and found that it worked great for me at the time. I hope it helps you through this time.

Suzanna (29)
John DH (28)

Aaryngston DS 3/25/95
Chloe DD Stillbirth 10/26/01
Samuel DS 12/30/02

Hey all,

I've been MIA for a while.. Moving, settling in, etc..

This time last year is when my pre-e blasted into my life. Everyday this week has been filled with anxiety and flashbacks. I know that next week will be even worse (I delivered on Nov 26 of last year)...

I feel like I should be overjoyed at my daughter's first birthday, and I am, but I just have all of these horrible memories that are just now resurfacing. I've been so weepy and so anxious, I went to the doc today and got a script for Celexa.

Also, tomorrow is Ainsley's 2nd heart evaluation and we find out about her heart surgery. It seems so unbelievable that she has three heart defects and will need surgery.

I just keep hoping after next week, I will mentally feel better. The hardest days will be next Tuesday, the day my bp spiked and I blacked out twice, when I was admitted to the hospital... And Wednesday, Ainsley's birthday, when all * broke loose and we both nearly died.

I know I should feel grateful that both of us are here, and I do, but I just feel so overwhelmed with the memories....

Oh, and we tried to go off my bp meds again, and three days later, my bp soared. It's just so frustrating that pre-e is still "around."



Kim
Ainsley Kathryn 11/26/02-36 Weeks Preeclampsia
http://home.austin.rr.com/schwintz