The truth is, people who have had uneventful pregnancies never think twice about things going wrong - and why would they?? My family always downplays my experience with the birth of my son, who was born at 36 weeks by emergency c section due to severe HELLP syndrome. I was put to sleep as the anastesiologist was afraid I would not clot (platelets at under 40). I will always be sad I could not be awake when he was born, but I am forever grateful he was ok.
Funny thing, I recently had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, When I found out I was pregnant I was so concerned that I would develop pre-e, etc again that I didn't really expect this. I guess you never know how things will turn out, but I really want another child, so we will definitly try again!
Good luck to you all!!!

AS

Tina,
I know what you mean about being scared. I'm 13 weeks pregnant. I keep thinking that that in another 13 weeks I'll be at the same place in pregnancy when I delivered my first. I do believe that my chances are better because the doctors are watching me closer and I am so much more proactive with my own care. I do say the same thing to people who want to plan trips with the baby. It all depends if I carry full-term. I really think that is a realistic answer, no matter what your inlaws or friends think. It is a strong possibility I will have a premature baby, especially since I got PE before 28 weeks. I just hope my pregnancy will last longer and I have a baby that will overcome the effects of prematurity. A lot do. I saw remarkable things in my 5 1/2 months in the NICU with my son. Of course I will just be estatic if I make it full term.

Good luck getting pregnant. I'm no help there. I got pregnant both times the first month I tried. Luckily some of the other women have been more helpful there.

Good luck! It takes courage to start again.

Heather

Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE 9/3/03-2/13/04
http://members.cox.net/heatherbbb/seth/seth.htm
Due with baby # 2 Feb 1, 2005

Houst congrats on the baby and I wil keep you in my prayers. I am having conflicting emotions as well and I am just ttc when/if I do conceive I am sure I will be a basket case.

Sha hope that all goes well with your peri! I think we all feel that our little angels are watching over us and protecting us, I know I do.

I did break down and decide to chart my temps, but no opk yet. I hate those things lol. This is only my fourth day charting so am not sure if I will be able to figure anything out this cycle or not.



Tina 23
DH Dereck 26

Emma Victoria stillborn 12-28-03
ttc#2

Hi everyone. I've missed you all sooooo much.
Anyway, My hubby and I are going to the perinatologist on Friday. I have been feeling so great knowing that my appointment is finally coming up. We had to wait a few weeks for an appointment. I have decided to start living life again. The stress was bad for me and bad for the child that I want to bring into this world. I try to think only positive thoughts now. When negative thoughts come to me, I change them into positive ones. If I get sad about Amaya, I think of her in heaven, protecting me and my DH. When I get scared about TTC, I think about how fun it will be trying.[:I] I find that this helps me.

Hi all
I found out on Friday that I'm pregnant. I'm so scared.
I'm about 6 weeks along, I'm booked for a dating scan next tuesday to work out my exact dates (for when it comes to taking aspirin).

I thought I was ready for all this but now I'm not sure.
My friend lost her baby last week at 36 weeks...they don't know why.
Baby was perfect and she wasn't sick or anything. She just all of a sudden stopped feeling him move.

I'm desperate to hold a healthy baby...so far I know more dead babies than live ones.

I saw my doctor today and I've been referred to the specialist at the hospital. They are going to give me a packet of those stick thingies that you wee on and a BP monitor to take home. I'll be seen weekly though the entire pregnancy by the specialist.

I'm so scared by it all that I'm cold and shakey....I need to settle down...

Mum to Angel baby Jonathan Douglas
born still 3rd April 2004 31wks, weighing 880gms

Julie after your post I bought Taking Charge of your Fertility I really love it!! Never knew there was so much I didn't know about my body even with all the reading I have done!!


Tina

Emma victoria stillborn 12-28-03

ttc#2

Tina ~ I understand about the feeling of betrayal, I feel that too. That is why I am secretly hoping when I do get pregnant the baby is a boy. This will be my last pregnancy, so she would have that special place in my life forever.

You are definately in my prayers, all the best.

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02

Thanks you guys!! :)

In answer to your question Tracey, yes I have been to see a peri he's the one that gave us the go ahead.

My cycles had been pretty regular since my c-section ususally 28 or 29 until the last 2 one was 36 and the last one was 40. I usually can tell by cervical mucus when I am ovulating. So I am thinking that maybe I will just wing it the first few months and see how it goes; then if not I will start taking the ovulation tests and charting.

Doc told me the easiest way was just not to stress about it. Easy for him to say!! It's not the conception part that stresses me it's the after. I am scared that I will never give birth to a healthy baby, my mil tried to tell me that was irrational. Not what I like to hear coming from someone who had two healthy pregancies. I know that she just doesn't understand. ALl my in-laws think that if I get pg again it will be alright, because my ob did say it usually happens only in the first pregnancy. I have tried to tell my mil that there is still a possibility that it won't go perfectly, but I think she just thinks that I am exaggerating. It's kind of hard to talk to her because of a lot of things that happened when I was in the hospital. I really would like her to be involved as much as my mother but she's too hard headed lol (aren't all mil's?) and doesn't let what I tell her sink in! Oh well enough of that I am off the subject.

I know it may sound silly but there is a part of me that sort of feels like I am betraying Emma by trying to become pg again. I know it isn't true and that Emma will always hold a special place in my heart. Even though I lost her I DO NOT regret my pregnancy. She may have never took a breath but she changed my life for the better more than most people will ever understand. I believe her little life had a purpose. Three months to the day after her death her daddy accepted Christ :), something I had been praying about for a long time. God was the only place Dereck could find any answers. Anyhow there I go rambling again, forgive me sometimes my mind strays! lol

Thanks again for all of your comments and please keep me in your prayers :)!

Tina Lowe
Emma Victoria 12-28-03

Tina ~ I am in the same place a you, we are coming up on the 6 month anniversary of our loss and going to TTC next cycle. I agree with what the others have said. It is so nice to know others exactly in the same spot as you. I am going for an appointment with a peri next week to hopefully get the final go ahead. It is so scary to think about PE again, even so much more because of our kinds of losses.

For my last pregnancy I did chart and it is really helpful in knowing your cycles (www.fertilityfriend.com). For the 2 previous I just used OPKs. All the ways worked the first time [:)]. I am 35 and have a 4 year old son and didn't want to be this old with a baby or have my children so spaced (we have been trying since 2002), so I have to make this a whole planning ordeal. I hope that whatever you do it is successful in a time that is best.

Keep us posted on how you are doing, hopefully we can all make it through this time together. Take care,

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02

Tina,

DH and I started trying in April and when I got the ++ in June, I was just as terrified as I was excited... The blissful ignorance of the first pregnancy is gone...

I have a friend who is currently due the day after me and her and her DH called yesterday to see if we wanted to plan a beach/camping trip for early next summer when the babies would be about 4 months old. Without even thinking twice, my response was, "Well, it depends on when our baby is born, I'm not taking a preemie on vacation at 4 months old..." She can't comprehend what I'm saying because she had a textbook pregnancy and has a healthy little one year old girl that came 2 weeks late... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very much on guard this pregnancy but, I also am so much more appreciative and know just what a miracle it is.

I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility in preparation for trying again and, as I'm fortunate enough to have pretty regular cycles, we were pg the 2nd month. I didn't chart or temp but, tried to pay really close attention to cervical mucous changes.

Hang in there, we'll be here for you on this journey.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

Southern California Coordinator