I'm so sorry for your loss.

Shae ((HUGS))

I have nothing new to offer here, as so many others have given you excellent pieces of advice, but I just wanted to let you know that we understand.

It's a sad bond that we all have but one that has gotten me through some of my darkest days.

I think it's very hard to explain to people exactly how hard and painful this is.... I think sometimes they want us to move on just because they can't deal with the hurt or really know what to say. I lost a lot of my friends during that time and at the same time- I gained and made new unexpected ones who have brought me a lot of comfort and peace.

I hope you are able to surround yourself with people who bring you peace.

Shae, I am getting here late, but I am glad you found us. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious boy, you are still in early days, your friends should not be expecting anything from you, they should be asking what they can do to help you. Everyone had great suggestions, you have been through a lot, take care of yourself.

Shae, I am so sorry for your loss.

My friend made a memory/shadow box for me when I lost my son. She used the colors of the nursery we created for him. In it, she hung the footprints from a little string to look like a clothes line with clouds in the background. She also included my very last ultrasound in it.

Can you do something like this? You can even include a poem for Isaac or quotes.

Wishing you peace during this difficult time...

I wanted to put some stuff in a memory box, but I don't really have anything...I havent gone back to work yet, so I dont have any money...I only have pics and footprints...any ideas?

Three weeks is such a short amount of time for anyone to think you should move on. Your grief is still so fresh, so new, and you need to express it. Is there a SHARE group near you that you could go to get some support? If you can, look into it. Going to a support group really helped me and it reassured me that I was not alone. Hugs.

Shae,

After my baby died, someone told me that this is the worst thing that will ever happen in your life. I believe that's true. It is the worst and most difficult thing you will ever go through. But you will get through it. It is very hard, but it will eventually get easier.

If you have friends who are not being supportive, now is not a good time to be spending time with them. If you need to separate yourself from them for a while, that is OK. You need to be with people who want to help you through this.

Here is a good web site about grief: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/index.html

I found it very helpful to learn what I could about the grief process so that I know what things are normal. It may be helpful to encourage your friends to learn about grief as well. Nobody can understand unless they have had a similar experience, but your good friends will want to do what they can to help.

You need to give yourself time to grieve. No matter what anyone else tries to tell you, you must work through your grief on your own schedule. Nobody can say when you should be back to normal.

I encourage you to feel your pain and express your emotions. If that means just sitting down and crying for a while, that's OK. Drinking to numb your pain may help temporarily, but not in the long run. You need to process your grief or you will never feel better. That being said, your grief is your own; nobody can tell you how to grieve for your child. The grief process is different for everyone. It may take you much longer than your friends expect.

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious boy Isaac.

I am sorry for your loss of Isaac - I second denise - it really sucks. When I started this awful grief process it seemed to flow like this - The first month was horrible, I didn't know how I would survive. The next month was tough - but I didn't cry every day anymore - and I went back to work and started trying to find a new normal. The third month was actually pretty good. I always felt Vincent's loss - but I knew I was moving forward with life. The fourth month is only 2 weeks into it and I feel like I am back to being close to month one. I am crying a lot - looking at his pictures a lot - wanting things to be so different.

My point I guess is that your grief will come in cycles. You will have good days that seem to go on for weeks then a bad day can come crushing down out of nowhere. Try and surround yourself with people who can be caring and supportive of you.

Take care

Hi Shae

First of all, I just want to say how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. Loss sucks big time. There is no easy way around it or easy way to deal with it. You just need to walk through the pain.

Honestly, I think you need to find more supportive friends. I can't believe that they would call a grieving mother selfish and that they say YOU should be a better friend to THEM. Am I missing something here?? I thought that good friends were supposed to be there for you in your time of NEED.

Do you have a loving partner, husband, mother or Counsellor to speak to? That would probably help.

HUGS.

I found out my baby was dead on July 15. He was born July 18. It's been three weeks ans I'm still barely hanging on. I cant sleep. I keep waking up and hearing a baby cry.I drink as much as i can so I can feel numb instead of hurting. Some of my friends think Im being selfish.They say I should move on and be a better friend to them..I feel like everyone has forgtotten him...I named my boy. He I s Isaac Micheal Allen.