Thinking of all of you today...and your precious little ones. Wishing you peace and healing. (((HUGS)))

Thank you kerisue *hugs*

I lit this candle for us today. Won't make us feel any better, but a small token anyway. It will stay lit for 48 hours from right now.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... d=13302440

This is my first Mother's Day ever and my daughter is not here to celebrate it with me. She was born still 3 months ago today, so its a double whammy. I have found the days leading up to today, and today extrodinarily difficult. All of the TV commercials, stores and facebook posts are enough to send me to tears. Everyone says I am a mother, which I agree I am, but it feels incredibly hollow without my darling girl.

I'm not too sure if Mother's Day is to blame or not, but yesterday I completely fell apart. I cried almost all evening. Up until then I had tried to stifle my tears and not think about things but I finally allowed myself to do so yesterday. I was left physically exhausted but somehow relieved. Today is more of the same. The guilt/loneliness/feelings of failure are all hitting me pretty hard again. In the middle of my tearfest the funeral home called to inform me that Gracie's death certificate is ready to be picked up. Get this, she said they're open tomorrow if I want to come by. I can't imagine a better way to spend my first Mother's Day.

My MIL is taking her mother to dinner and she invited me and dh. We will go, but I'm sure I'm going to burst into tears at some point during the meal.

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) to all the mommies out there.

I know the feeling...it was really hard for me to celebrate Mothers day last year!

I am having a HORRIBLE time as well. Today just confirmed that I CANNOT be around babies. I have avoided them for the past year and a half. Today I was stuck in a store b/c my mom and I ran into a friend of hers with her daughter and her baby....I was so uncomfortable, I wanted to run away, and they didn't talk about him, but just being there...I couldn't handle it..I thought about excusing myself but didn't want to be rude. I toughed it out...while they had baby things in their shopping basket I had a memorial cross in mine. As soon as the conversation was done I fell apart. People can't understand that I just can't handle it. I'm fine when I'm not around other babies. Oh, and in closing they said "Happy Mother's Day", which I'm sure was aimed at my mom...but I just took the whole thing horribly. That's like a knife in the heart...happy mother's day...mother's day kills me...

I am glad to see this thread as well. I am having a hard time right now too between Mother's Day and what would have been Cooper's first birthday. Last Mother's Day, I was clueless that I was developing PE and what was about to happen two weeks later. Its so unfair. I am so ready for June to get here.

I agree with joker. Even with my one year old, Mother's Day makes me sad. People expect me to celebrate and I hate having to explain that I'm not going to do anything. I wish the whole thing would go away, but it's everywhere. I will be glad when it's over.

It's been almost 4 years since I lost Abby and I do now have my earthside girl too, but Mother's Day is still hard. I find that I just don't really feel like celebrating, that I would rather stay in bed and just watch mind numbing tv. Tune it out is what I like to do, but that just isn't so easy. Big hugs.