It has only been a week since I got out of the hospital and lost Soleil Sophia at 32 weeks. I find each day gets worse. Each morning feels like Im waking out of some nightmare and the thought of "How could this happen" just gets louder and louder in my ear. I can only imagine how a year or two from now is going to feel. I think getting further and further away from the day of loss almost makes it more real and definite, and you loose more connection to the baby you lost. I hope it gets better for you, me and everyone on here that experienced some loss.

This will be our second year anniversaries too (in June and July). I'm sorry you couldn't take time off, I don't think I'd be able to be at work on her birthday and the day she died (call in sick maybe?). I hope you can still do something special to remember Cooper.

I also found the second year much harder... it's unfair that things don't just get easier. Whoever said time heals all wounds never said goodbye to a child.

I'll keep hope that on Cooper's special days you find moments of peace. Sometimes the lead up to the days is so much harder than the actual day.

I'm so sorry.

I found that the 2nd year was harder than the first year. I think the first year, I expected it to be really hard when her birthday rolled around and spent weeks dreading it so that the actual day was not quite as bad as I had worried about. But the second year, I expected it to be easier, I didn't really prep myself mentally for it I guess, and having their younger siblings here for the 2nd year in some ways make their absence a lot more glaring.

Hugs to you.

This year not any easier than last year? May 17th is the day I woke up with bleeding and was hospitalized. May 20th is the day Cooper was born and May 21st is the day he died and May 26th is the day we buried him. This time last year was tough because it was the first anniversary. I thought this year would be easier because I have already been the first anniversary but noooo. All I want to do is go home and cry but I can not because I need to save my time off for the fun things we have planned this year.