Thanks Julija! I am going to figure out some kind of counsuling soon. Sorry about your Henry. It's really great to be able to talk with other moms who know what you are going through. The sad stories make you feel less alone in the world, and the happy endings give you hope. ;)

I am so sorry you had to experience the loss of your babies. There are no words to describe the pain that comes with it, the pain that fills your days longer after your loss, the pain of losing yourself and your world you thought you knew. It takes much time and effort to get back to a sense of self and re-build your life anew. It will get easier with time, but even after a long time, the pain can come back very unexpectedly. Shortly, after I lost Henry I started seeing a baby-loss counselor, which helped me very much, but everybody grieves differently and has different needs.
Take the time to heal and be gentle with yourself. Please feel free to post here, we are here and understand.

Thinking of your little ones, Kerry and Ricky.

Tinabel, I'm so sorry you lost Kerry. I lost my Ricky almost 4 months ago and a lot of my days are as bad as yours. I'm also trying to loose a few pounds and struggling with it most days. I find weight watchers helps, specifically attending the meetings, it keeps me motivated for the most part. I don't have any insights about the depression, which is overwhelming for me most days. I know it's soon after both our losses, but when I remember carrying Ricky, it seems like that took place a life time ago. I get tired dealing with all the people in my life, tired of being the person I was before I lost my baby. And yet, if I don't go to work, and if I don't call my friends and family and talk about the day's events, then I don't know what.

I hope hearing from someone like you helps.


BBC (31)
Mommy to:
Ricky, Stillborn 3.13.12 @ 34+4 wks due to Severe Pre-E. 5 lb & 1 oz. Always missed. Most beloved son.
MC at 9 weeks May 2011

Tinabel it sounds like you went through a 2 month nightmare with an unhappy ending. I'm so sorry little Kerry didn't make it. So unfair and absolutely devastating. Your depression is totally natural. My little one passed away two years ago this week and and I still have days when I feel the pain of her loss very acutely. Good job on the weight loss! But I hope you know that being overweight didn't cause you to get preeclampsia. Plenty of overweight women don't get preeclampsia and plenty of slim women do. Stick around here, I found lots of support after Millie died and when I was ready to try and conceive again.

[color=#004080]I lost my baby to pre eclampsia in noverber 2011 and was on bed rest in hospital for 2 months bp was 175/128 was put on bp medication and also had Cervical incompetence was on antibiotics for this as well, was on 18 tablets a day to control everything. had a c section on jan 4th 2012 @29weeks 5 days but my little kerry passed away on jan 10th 2012 her blood was septic

Its been close to 6months and am still inshock and to make it worse i got DVT the day after i had my c section so still on warfarin coz i got a blood clot in my calf.

some days i go into deep depression that i can not control. currently trying to lose weight. was 140kg when i was pregnant as had terrible odema which was 20+ of water. hopefully losing weight (currently 105kg lost 5 kg in a 1 month 3weeks, jeans from 46 to 42) will help me for when my gyno thinks its k for me to try again and i wont lie am so scaredhope i get the okay from gyno next year.[/color]