Are You a Mother?

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Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by josiah1112 » Sun Mar 14, 2004 07:34 pm

Julie- Reading that poem brought tears to MY eyes. Thank you
for sharing it.

Kris- I hope you had a nice vacation. It's special that your
family includes you in on the Mother's Day Celebration. I'm so
glad they do. You deserve it.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by kdreher » Sun Mar 14, 2004 04:34 pm

Though Tyler is not here for his mommy to hug and kiss every day. I will always be a mom because he was my first born. I know how hard it can be to feel like a mom, but deep in my heart I know that I am a mommy and thankfully my husband and family include me in on Mother's Day along with them. I think in some way, I am more respected on Mother's Day because they know the treasure they have and can not imagine walking in my shoes. It has taken me a long 9 yrs to be times I am weak, but I find strength in Tyler's memory.

I love the Build-a-Bear great

Kris (34)
DH, Tom (33)
Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks pe/HELLP) or

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by lisac » Sun Mar 14, 2004 02:44 pm

Beautiful poem, Julie. Thanks for posting that.


Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by julie f » Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:00 am

Gloria - "A mother's arms are just not meant to be empty." That sentence brought tears to my eyes. So very true.

I posted this poem a long time ago after I found it on another board, I thought it was relevant to this thread and hope it may give others comfort.

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here

He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear
My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons are through
And on the day you come home
they'll be at the gates for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth
May not realize
Until their time is done
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are
A Special Mom

Author Unknown

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Southern California Coordinator

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by josiah1112 » Fri Mar 12, 2004 06:41 pm

That's great ShaRhonda!
I heard that holding something is supposed to actually
help our "aching arms". A mother's arms are just not meant
to be empty.
Thinking of you...

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by sharonda » Fri Mar 12, 2004 06:13 pm

I went to Build-A-Bear this week. I saw this on Oprah and thought it would be a good idea. You pick out the teddy bear and then they stuff it. You put a heart in it and they sew it up for you. You get to pick out clothes and you even get to name it. They gave me a birth certificate too. I picked out angel wings and named my bear after my daughter. It was therapeutic for me. I cried a little and after I told the cashier about the importance of the bear, she gave me a hug. I look at the bear morning and smile.

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by josiah1112 » Wed Mar 10, 2004 05:38 am

Wow Anika!

I checked out the web site and it is truly amazing. I think
I will do it in the future!

Take Care,

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03 - 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by amillhouse » Wed Mar 10, 2004 00:15 am

Thanks, and I am glad the post helped you. In thinking about Mother's Day, has anyone heard of the company God's Little Ones? It is a Christian woman who makes dolls - she can make a memory doll for you thaty looks like your child. You send her pictures, size and everything. You have to see the website. It is amazing. I am not sure I am going to do it - I don't know how would feel to see Isaiah in a doll form. I am still thinking about it. Anyway they are not accepting new orders until May. It's amazing how I found this website. I was doing a search so I could send my mom an article on the unique grief on baby loss and this site came up. Take a look.

Anika (32, severe pre-e)
Mommy's Angel Boy: Isaiah (1/20/04 - 2/17/04)
Born at 28 weeks 1 day gestation weighing 610 grams

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by sharonda » Tue Mar 09, 2004 08:58 pm

I did not think about myself as a mommy until I read your post. When I talk about my loss, I refer to her as my daughter or Amaya. Sometimes people look at me funny like I said a bad word. It helps me to think of her as a part of my life. I feel a sense of warmth when I think that I AM a mommy. I am not sure about mother's day though. Going to church is not an option (too many babies, children and mommies) but celebrating the day may be nice.

I am buying a ring with Amaya's birthstone in it and I am placing her memory box on a shelf in my bedroom along with her stuffed animal. This will help me, too.

Thanks so much for your post.

Re : Are You a Mother?

Post by amillhouse » Tue Mar 09, 2004 01:06 pm

Thanks for all the positive comments, ladies, and I hope there are more coming. I just feel strongly that there must be women reading this who don't feel like mommies because of their loss. If you are out there, know that WE ARE ALL MOMMIES and we celebrate YOU and your child/children!

Mommy to Isaiah (angel) 1/20/04 - 2/17/04
28 weeks 1 day gestation