by hannahsmom » Wed Dec 16, 2009 11:31 am
I can't help but be sad. Today is the day that Brandon was due, and he's already been in this world for 5 weeks! I know that I shouldn't be sad because I have a healthy baby home with me. But I guess I'm sad because I feel that I missed out on a perfect, full-term birth yet again, and there will be no more chances. I feel like I should be in the hospital giving birth, not sitting at home crying my eyes out. Hannah was still sick in the hospital on her due date, so I know that I am lucky this go-around. I've been so sleep deprived because Brandon's little tummy can't hold much milk at a time, so he's up almost every hour, and then has a hard time going back to sleep. I almost had a nervous break-down on Monday. I was holding Brandon on my belly in my bed waiting for Hannah to get up that morning, but when I went to turn off the alarm, my hand slipped and Brandon slid off my belly and fell to the floor. Thank goodness the comforter had fallen to the floor earlier and caught him, and we also have carpet in the bedroom, but he fell right on his head and started screaming. I took him to the pediatrician and they did a CAT scan and everything was fine, but I broke down right in front of the pediatrician. He said he really wants me to talk to my OB about PPD, and he wants me to get some help from friends or family so I can sleep during the day. I don't have a great support system right now, so it's going to be hard. I also have other changes going on in my life so everything seems to be crashing in all at once. I told him that I don't have an OB anymore after the fiasco where she wanted to deliver me at the small hospital at 29 weeks, so the ped said to talk to my MFM about it during my appointment on Friday. So I guess I will do that. I know other preemie mommas understand about the due date sadness, so I just wanted to get it out there. Thanks for listening :)
I can't help but be sad. Today is the day that Brandon was due, and he's already been in this world for 5 weeks! I know that I shouldn't be sad because I have a healthy baby home with me. But I guess I'm sad because I feel that I missed out on a perfect, full-term birth yet again, and there will be no more chances. I feel like I should be in the hospital giving birth, not sitting at home crying my eyes out. Hannah was still sick in the hospital on her due date, so I know that I am lucky this go-around. I've been so sleep deprived because Brandon's little tummy can't hold much milk at a time, so he's up almost every hour, and then has a hard time going back to sleep. I almost had a nervous break-down on Monday. I was holding Brandon on my belly in my bed waiting for Hannah to get up that morning, but when I went to turn off the alarm, my hand slipped and Brandon slid off my belly and fell to the floor. Thank goodness the comforter had fallen to the floor earlier and caught him, and we also have carpet in the bedroom, but he fell right on his head and started screaming. I took him to the pediatrician and they did a CAT scan and everything was fine, but I broke down right in front of the pediatrician. He said he really wants me to talk to my OB about PPD, and he wants me to get some help from friends or family so I can sleep during the day. I don't have a great support system right now, so it's going to be hard. I also have other changes going on in my life so everything seems to be crashing in all at once. I told him that I don't have an OB anymore after the fiasco where she wanted to deliver me at the small hospital at 29 weeks, so the ped said to talk to my MFM about it during my appointment on Friday. So I guess I will do that. I know other preemie mommas understand about the due date sadness, so I just wanted to get it out there. Thanks for listening :)
