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Preemies & ADHD

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Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by hutced » Tue Jan 20, 2004 10:34 am

Aimee
They are little angels.................
Hang in there, I was the same way when my sister moved away but with some expensive phone bills and lots of emails we made it through. Until.....I followed her to GA[;)]lol.

Denise
Emily 3-6-02 41 1/2wks, 7lbs15oz
Evan 10-21-03 35wks, 5lbs6oz, PIH/PE (placental abruption)

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by julie f » Sun Jan 18, 2004 07:51 am

They ARE adorable![:D] That is such a precious picture!

Julie (26)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by aimeejane » Sun Jan 18, 2004 07:06 am

<------------- Aren't my boys freaking adorable???????

Sheesh, I'm on an emotional roller coaster. Ignore me! [:p]

Aimee - 28
Dh - 30
Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by aimeejane » Sun Jan 18, 2004 07:01 am

God, what a depressing post. Sorry, my sister left today to move to L.A. permanently. I'm a bit down. (Okay, a LOT down...)

Aimee - 28
Dh - 30
Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by aimeejane » Sun Jan 18, 2004 07:00 am

Thanks, Sherry & Laura...

One of our best friends - also Nicky's godfather - has ADD...but he wasn't diagnosed until his early 20's! The emotions he's described sound so much like what I see going on in Nicky's eyes: the frustration, anger, inability to control himself, etc. He's also a brilliant man. He's a computer programmer - something that is so over my head - and he's one of those people who knows a little something about everything. Nicky reminds me of him...the first time Nicky looked me in the eyes, even at a pound and a half, I felt the shock of how much he already knew. Scary stuff - He's an old soul, that's for sure.

Laura, I kwym about the patience. Most days I don't WANT to take the time to do a list. I don't want to have to remind him to take deep breaths to calm himself down from a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way. I feel like a horrible parent, because I don't feel like I have the energy necessary to deal with this and another child at the same time. I'm scared one (or both) of them is going to suffer.

[:(]

Aimee - 28
Dh - 30
Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by laura » Sat Jan 17, 2004 09:50 am

Aimee, that's a great link- some parts of that could be describing Alicia exactly.

I knew right away when she started school there was a problem, so I brought her in, and the "Psychiatric Nurse Practicioner" that handles all the ADD at the clinic told me that Alicia was too smart for the material, and that she was bored, and I had unrealistic expectations for her performance, and when she wasn't listening, it was her way of expressing hostility about me having Camille (that made me soooo mad) I had such a rough time getting Camille here healthy, that a guilt trip on that subject doesn't go over well.

I knew better than to press it at that point- people carry their own agendas into this stuff- so I said- fine. You don't believe me, I'll give it til Christmas, and by then the teacher is going to be nuts. And that's exactly what I did and that's exactly what happened- and by Xmas- every couple of days, the teacher's like "we have to get her tested." The teacher's been having her own adult DD come in to tutor mine during the day- and now is offering to keep Allie in at recess (her own lunch break) to help her. I'm just so sad about it. I feel like a bad parent, because I have no patience anymore.

Then I wonder what part I played in it- ADD runs in my family, and then the whole PE/hypoxia/emergency section/baby's non-reassuring heart rate thing makes me wonder if I did it to her. It's not rational and not constructive, but I can't help it. And Cam- is exactly like the infant described on that site- she's like coralling a drunk all the time- struggling, and you never know when you're going to get a left hook. I have a feeling we've got some challenging times ahead of us with that one. Hopefully, we'll have it down by then.

And Sherry- you're so right about the routine. We were late every single morning until I started using a timer to help her transition between activities. Now we're only late twice a week[:p]

Laura-28
DH Jack-31
Allicia 5-13-98 (35 weeks-pre-e)
Camille 4-17-03 (36 weeks- htn and oligo)
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/camilleandallie/

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by sherry fisher » Sat Jan 17, 2004 08:11 am

Hi Aimee,
That is a pretty typical thing with kids with ADHD/ADD. Being so incredibly smart, it is scary! They do seem to focus TONS on things that interest them, if there is no interest, there is no focusing! I have done sooooooo much research on this, plus Alex's PED specialized in kids just like him for many years! He is wonderful! There is so many more alternatives now to ritalin, as well. Alex does not take Ritalin. He takes Concerta once a day. We had problems potty training him too. I dont think it has to do much with the potty training itself, but more so with the 'interest' thing. Sometimes I feel like I am in a whole other world with him. Other times, he feels like a typical 10 yr old. Its rough, no doubt about it. I think thats where you need to tune the other people out who dont know what you are going through. Its easy to judge someone, and even easier to gossip! Frustrating, I know! :) One of the best things you can do is already what you are doing. Routine, Routine, Routine! It works much more than you think! In the long run, it makes for a better organized child. I wish that I had been more focused on routine and schedules when Alex was small.

Sherry Fisher (28)
DH: Bill (35)
Proud Mama to:
#1) Alex 1/1/94-PE
#2) Abbie 12/17/97-PIH
#3 Will 08/03/02-PP PE
#4) EDD: 4/27/04
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyfish3/

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by aimeejane » Sat Jan 17, 2004 07:55 am

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I'm in tears, because you all understand.

If one more person tells me that Nicky's too young for us to know, I think I'm going to bite their stupid heads off! Yes, he's a typical 3yo, but MORESO - and he's almost four now. I think only someone going through it could understand. Not only does he have trouble focusing on so much, he hyperfocuses on some things - like books and movies - the things he's really interested in. That's what really made me believe it's ADHD.

He's the smartest child I've ever seen - so much so that it scares me sometimes. His memory and powers of deduction, when he takes the time to listen to his mind, are incredible. I'm just so afraid that if we don't do something about it now, he's going to be labeled a 'problem child' in Kindergarten, which will absolutely kill any chance he has in public school.

Of course I'm wary...I don't want to medicate just for the 'quick fix,' and, of course, I'm keeping in mind how much Ritalin was over-used when we were kids. On the other hand, I'm 100% for medicating when it's the right path for that child. Nicky has responded very well to list-making. I print up a colorful "To Do" list during his nap, and he crosses off each thing with his favorite brown crayon. This makes transitions so much easier, and our lives have become much more pleasant, even as I've started using the list less. Of course, they can't do this in preschool, with 2 teachers for 14 kids, and that's my concern. We can't count on the world adapting to his way of learning, so he's going to have to adapt.

Here's a fabulous site I found on it. The part about potty training hit home with us...Nicky's been physically ready for at least 8 months, but throws tantrums when led anywhere near a potty. [:(] http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/adhd/What%20is%20ADHD.htm

I've booked a double-length appointment for his 4-year check-up on March 30. For the second half, my mom will take the boys home while I have a consult with the doctor. My goal is to walk out of there with a referral to a specialist, so wish me luck!!!



Aimee - 28
Dh - 30
Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by sherry fisher » Sat Jan 17, 2004 06:48 am

Hi Laura,
I think My biggest complaint with ADHD is that more people dont know more about it. They are always quick to judge the parents when the child is medicated. Unless they walk a thousand miles in our shoes and see the agonizing decisions we have to make when it comes to their education, I am STILL not listening! It was a decision WELL thought through and now well worth it with the progress he has made. We have tried to take Alex off of meds and within 2 days he will be bringing home careless work, bad grades and notes from the teacher. Not from behavior problems, but from rushing through with his work, not following directions, talking in class, disturbing the class, etc, etc...

Ya know, this is a topic all on its own. lol I never really looked at it as a 'preemie' thing, makes me wonder now?!?!?!

Let me know how your appt goes! Go to someone who knows LOTS about this, Too many PED's treat it too easily! Which of course brings out the sceptics in some!.:) [B)]

Sherry Fisher (28)
DH: Bill (35)
Proud Mama to:
#1) Alex 1/1/94-PE
#2) Abbie 12/17/97-PIH
#3 Will 08/03/02-PP PE
#4) EDD: 4/27/04
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyfish3/

Re : Preemies & ADHD

Post by laura » Fri Jan 16, 2004 01:39 am

Sherry- I'm glad you posted that- Alicia was born by emergency c @ 35 weeks, 5'15, and now in kindergarten- and we're in the process of ADD evaluation (I was supposed to bring her paperwork for an appt yesterday, but STOMACH FLU changed those plans)

It was very disturbing to see her teacher's evaluation of her performance- I'll just leave it at that.

Glad to hear we're not alone in this.

Laura-28
DH Jack-31
Allicia 5-13-98 (35 weeks-pre-e)
Camille 4-17-03 (36 weeks- htn and oligo)
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/camilleandallie/

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