((hugs)) you are a great mom do not beat yourself up on top of everything else. I second what others have said about reaching out to a family support group of some kind. I would also see about talking to a lawyer or someone to get the SSI and child support fixed so you don't need to worry so much. Caring for a child with special needs is very draining don't feel bad that you need a break, it is entirely normal. Can you get your mom or someone you trust get fully trained to step in sometimes too since dh is dropping the ball(which is his loss IMO). We are here for you whenever you need to vent.

Joining the big group hug for you. I wish I were closer to provide support. Where are you again? I assume you have a social worker from the hospital--I imagine there must be regional help. Have you got a PEPs group in your area (Program for Early Parenting Support)? They might be a good support. I can't imagine how tough this is for you.

Big hugs--and many warm thoughts,

I'm so sorry hon. I wish we could wrap you up in a huge hug to know that yes, someone does care about you and Ethan. We are here for you.

I just want to reach out and hug you. I can't imagine how hard all of this with Ethan and Chad has been on you, but you are doing a great job taking care of Ethan. He is an amazing little boy and that is mostly because of you being such a good mommy. Hugs.

I wish that I could come and help and get you some long term help as well. I can't imagine how frustrating this is for you - I'm so sorry that things are not moving faster and easier.

I will say this - your little man is a heartbreaker and he's making great strides - you are a wonderful mom and it's totally normal to be frustrated one minute and upset that you feel that way in the next - it's got to be even harder when you are having to deal and handle everything else.

I'll be thinking of you - I still say a prayer for Ethan and he's still on our prayer list at church - I'll add you too.

I just wanted to send you a virtual hug. You are an amazing mama and have been through the ringer!! Please be gentle on yourself. I too wish I could come and help you out!!!

Nikkole, I agree with everything the rest have said, and I am sending you an e-mail. I wish I could come over in person and chat and give that beautiful boy of yours a little snuggle.

Nikkole,
You have been through and are still going through so much. It is not right that one person should have to endure so much! I agree with all of the PP. You need some time out and away to go just be Nikkole. Even heakthy kids are trying at times and I think all parents lose patience at some time or another. I don't know the circumstances around Ethan's SSI but at the hospital where I work we have something called Medical Third Party that tries to help people get the funding they can so they can pay their hospital bills- most of them fight for SSI on the side and don't require any money up front. You might see if the hospital Ethan was at has any service like that. Also, I think even if you don't qualify for regular SSI you can still get some type of respite service paid for through them. I have a friend that has used that and I'll check into it when I see her again soon. I wish I could just come help you! As far as Chad- I cannot imagine the pain he has caused you and you deserve so much better! Don't give up, you are doing a fabulous job! (((HUGS)))

Nikkole, you have been through so much. You deserve some time out and some personal space. What about a set time each day where you have full coverage, and spend a bit of time out of the house? If there is anything that I can find or think of that might be helpful, I'll let you know. My thoughts are with you. Sending you love and hugs.

Is there a social services organization that provides respite care by nurses?

I'm so sorry you are going through so much, and that your ex can't even help with his own child. It just seems to me there's got to be some organization that can help. I hope you are somehow able to get some rest and space from the situation.