i think the meds might be starting to help, it's only been about a week so i know i have a ways to go. i went to visit tonight for the first time in about 3 days (MASSIVE GUILT!) and he's doing really well.

as much as i want him home, i'm also terrified of it because i have NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING! i'm afraid of the crying and how i'll handle it, especially the kind where nothing is wrong and they just won't stop. so yeah, it's so much on my mind...

(((HUGS))) How are you feeling today? I'm glad you got some meds to help with the PPD - do you feel like they're starting to help? Having a new baby is hard enough emotionally but with the added stress of the NICU it can just be overwhelming. Hang in there! How's Nathan doing?

i'm just having an awful time. i cry a LOT. definitely postpartum depression. i'm on new meds and just waiting for them to start working. some nights i just feel like i can't go to the NICU, it's just too much for me...but when my husband leaves to go visit, i cry and cry because i feel so horribly guilty. :/ i don't know how to stop the guilt and lately i really hate myself because i don't go every night.

My little girl was 2 pounds and 15 ounces and was born at 33 weeks. She was in the Special Care nursery for 28 days. I got sick for a couple of days when she was in the hospital and was not able to see her. I remember asking my husband to bring back one of her blankets so I could smell her and I cried and cried. I felt so bad that I wasn't there to take care of her. So I totally understand. I pumped too and that helped me feel like I was helping my baby. It was only a couple of weeks before they started letting her nurse a little bit. She is 17 months old now. She is over 18 pounds. Totally healthy and happy. Take advantage of the time that your baby is in the hospital to take care of yourself and recover. You have been through a lot. Sleep well. Eat well. Get your house organized. Your baby is coming home and sooner than you think and then you will definitely be mama. Hang in there.

new development is that i've started feeling like i have post-partum depression. i've had a few days of just non-stop crying and for a few days i couldn't visit the NICU, i was afraid i'd just bawl my eyes out because i couldn't even THINK about my baby without crying. i've been having a hard time with having to leave him in the NICU and not being able to bring him home. my OB has called in the meds i was on prior to being pregnant and i'm hoping they will help.

ugh...hyperemesis, pre-eclampsia, and now PPD...will the horrors of this pregnancy ever end?

Hi,
My daughter was born at 31 weeks and 2lb 9oz. She was on CPAP for 2 days and then just the nasal cannula for a period of time after that. I didn't get to see her until day 2 because I was also on Mag which made the bonding process harder. I felt a little unattached to my baby for the first few weeks but still made a conscious effort to go visit, ask questions, etc. Ask the nurses to let you do kangaroo care. I started doing that daily and it really helped me feel more bonded to her. I think having a baby in the NICU and not being able to hold them, care for them, etc. is all very unnatural and it does make the bonding process harder. You will bond with him eventually so don't fear. My daughter is almost 4 now and is a perfectly healhty little girl. There were a lot of worries at first but we came through it and so will you.

If you feel so poorly, I'd call in and let the doctors know.

i'm staying home tonight while hubby goes to visit...i've been really sick the past few days and i don't know what's wrong with me. :/ i'm kind of worried. i'm really upset that i'm not able to go tonight. i miss the baby. i've been crying all day and i don't really know what to do, i just know i get sick every time i eat and i just feel absolutely horrible.

danielsmom wrote:Funny story... you made me think of it when you mentioned how hard it is to change diapers through the holes of an incubator.

When I first changed my son's diaper, I lifted his legs and put the diaper under him, and I was kind of shocked with what I saw. I called the nurse over there and asked her, somewhat distraught, if he was deformed. His butt had no crack and it actually came to a point! Our precious nurse tried not to laugh, and explained to me that he just didn't have any fat yet, and the point was his tailbone jutting out just for now. LOL... here I was thinking, well, he'll probably get along alright in life with a pointy butt...

I actually had a very similar experience when I changed my son's diaper. I was so baffled his lack of behind because both his father and I have booty to spare. lol

Funny story... you made me think of it when you mentioned how hard it is to change diapers through the holes of an incubator.

When I first changed my son's diaper, I lifted his legs and put the diaper under him, and I was kind of shocked with what I saw. I called the nurse over there and asked her, somewhat distraught, if he was deformed. His butt had no crack and it actually came to a point! Our precious nurse tried not to laugh, and explained to me that he just didn't have any fat yet, and the point was his tailbone jutting out just for now. LOL... here I was thinking, well, he'll probably get along alright in life with a pointy butt...