One of my doctors recommended I get a surrogate too- but I ruled it out as it can be very, very expensive, even if you find a friend/family member who volunteers. SO UNFAIR for us!!

FWIW, they gave me a 70% chance of getting at least pre-e with Lucas. I didn't. Yet with Olivia my odds of getting hellp (technically without pre-e even) was under 1%. So I don't put that much stock in percentages, but you've been through so so much, that would scare me too.

You and your sweet girls and family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that twice. That's definitely a concerning percentage, given your history. I would be weary about doing it again. Even with medicine like Lovenox or baby aspirin, your preeclampsias seem angry. It worked for lots of us, but it may just be a lucky shot in the dark. By any chance, do you know the average cost of a surrogate? I have a friend who has been TTC for some time with no luck.

I hope you take some more time to heal, in every sense of the word. Good luck in giving your child another sibling.

25% is a big percent. This will be a hard one to figure out. I would love to get a surrogate.

I had my post partum appointment with my peri this past monday, and we discussed the placental pathology report from my abruption with Janelle. She said the report said there was extensive damage indicative of an auto-immune disorder at the vascular level. She ordered the underlying disorder tests and they all came back negative. So she hopes that it's something that is just affecting my pregnancies, and that hopefully I won't develop symptoms of a disease later on.

She said that if I got pregnant again I have a 25% chance of a "catastrophic complete abruption" again, and that it could be fatal seeing as to how this time I lost over 3.5 liters of blood and needed numerous transfusions. She said I could die. She suggested that if I want another biological child I use a gestational carrier, which I have now been researching (and finding out it is quite expensive--but it may be our only hope).

I will be 34 in March, and I am giving myself until I am 35 to decide if I want to go through another pregnancy, or use a gestational carrier. The thought of being pregnant again, and burying another child scares me way too much, but I so desperately want my son to have a biological sibling. I am one of 5 kids, and my husband is one of 12. Right now I'm leaning towards using the carrier. My husband was not at the appointment so for now he says it is up to me. That he realizes it would be risky, and would be willing to use a gestational carrier. I TRULY still cannot believe I've buried two daughters. Sigh.