Dr discourages trying for #2

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Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by tstinnette0319 » Wed Sep 25, 2013 04:37 pm

I am going to be the one to agree with your dr. I hate to do this bc I know how much you want the second child. You must get your bp under control before getting pregnant. If you are having a hard time doing this without being pregnant, can you image how it will be with being pregnant? Being that said, the appt with the MFM dr is advisable, as others have recommended. If you do decide to proceed with the pregnancy with the high blood pressure (and you are dangerously high), be prepared to be admitted to the hospital early and have an extended bedrest. I am not saying that that God cannot make this happen for you bc miracles are his business, and you are deserving of your second, but be careful and think about your risks and its worth. Good luck to you and I am sorry to have to disagree with the post here...it is only one opinion, though...


Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by jtkdillashaw » Sun Aug 18, 2013 10:21 pm

I am in the same situation except I have just found out that we are expecting (when told against it). This was not planned and my OB suggests termination. I am 9 weeks along and my husband and I are having a really hard time with this decision. I want this baby very bad, but not at the expense of leaving my husband and 2 daughters (4 and 7) without a mom or having a child with severe development problems. That isn't fair. I know exactly how you feel. Being put in this situation and make this decision is way worse than just getting as much information as possible to fight for a second pregnancy. I too lost 30 pounds, but as my OB puts it "pregnancy is toxic to your body". I hope you get all the answers you need BEFORE you have to make extremely difficult choices. Good luck to you!

3 MC (1998, 2001, 2008)
Katelyn 11/2005 induced at 37.5w because of pe
Avery Jane 3/2009 induced at 34.5w because of severe pe
miracle due 3/2014

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by hollyree » Tue Mar 26, 2013 08:33 pm

I did call my doctor about my high bp reading Monday and her nurse just said that it takes some time for the meds to build up and work in your system. I had it read this morning and it was 138/80. Much better but still a little on the high side. I'll go back for a follow-up April 9.

Thanks for the link to the questions! That will be really helpful! I appreciate all the help and support so far. It has definitely eased my mind about a lot of things. Thanks again!

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by sam10 » Tue Mar 26, 2013 07:29 pm

Here is a link to an old post with questions you might want to ask the MFM. It was a summary of the questions I put together.


If you have any other questions, let us know.

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by sam10 » Mon Mar 25, 2013 09:35 pm

It is so hard not to stress. Finding activities that you find helpful to calm down is certainly a very good idea. Has your doctor let you know when an adjustment of meds would be needed? I am also wondering if you might want to ask about switching meds and if that would be an option.
MFM consults seem to get booked quite a bit. I remember having to wait for a while too. In the meantime you can put together all your questions that you will have for the MFM. I always go apointments with a notebook with all my questions written down, several pens (well one could fail ;-) ) to take notes, and my partner (4 ears are better than two and I tend to forget what has been said) and because there is lots of info to digest. There are some older posts that summarize typical questions to ask. I will try to dig them up for you. But you can also try the search function.

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by hollyree » Mon Mar 25, 2013 07:48 pm

Well, I called and got an appt. with an MFM for preconception counseling. The earliest I could get was MAY 13!! Crazy! Anyway, I was back at work today (I'm a teacher and we had spring break last week) so I go to the nurse's office after school is over to have her check my bp and it was 160/100 AGAIN! And I'm on meds! This is stressing me out--which isn't good for the bp, of course. I cannot believe it is this high! I called my doctor to ask her about bumping up my meds possibly but never heard back from her. I've got to find a way to destress everyday and not let everything stress me out! Usually I can turn it off, especially when I'm at work, but all the bad news that I heard last week just won't go away. *sigh* I know things will get better but right now I'm having a difficult time putting it out of my mind. :(

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by sam10 » Sun Mar 24, 2013 03:31 pm

Different offices have different set-ups. Some regular OBs do tandem care (well I call it that, so not an official term :-) ) with an MFM, so you would see both the regular OB and the MFM. They would consult with each other. Some MFMs take over the entire care from start to finish (from positive pregnancy test to post delivery check-up). I did go with the second option, as I found it easier to deal with one doctor rather than two. So, check with the MFM first and see what they offer. I did inform my regular OB about my decision to only be seen by the MFM of my choice. But I don't think you would have to.
I did talk to my MFM about fertility treatments, and he said absolutely no twin or multiple pregnancy (more placenta means more risk). He recommended then a fertility doc, so everybody felt comfortable with everybody :-)

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by hollyree » Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:58 am

Thanks midwestmom! I'm pretty sure we have a ppo. I will try to call them this week about an appt. Do I discuss this with my OB or just move along with the MFM? The MFM I want to see I believe also delivers so I could probably just see him. But I don't know how that will affect my OB here and moving forward with fertility treatments. All of your information has been so helpful!! I'm feeling somewhat more optimistic that I was previously. Thanks again!

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by midwestmom » Sun Mar 24, 2013 08:21 am

Whether or not you need a referral to an MFM may depend on your insurance - do you have a PPO or HMO? With a PPO you shouldn't have a problem, with an HMO I believe you would need a referral. I would call the MFM's office and speak to the front office about how to get an appointment, they'll know all the answers. Good Luck!

Re: Dr discourages trying for #2

Post by hollyree » Sat Mar 23, 2013 09:46 pm

Thanks a bunch ladies! It was just today that I read somewhere else about consulting an MFM so I will definitely look into that before proceeding. Do you know if you have to be referred by your OB or can you just make an appt? I definitely think I would feel better if I did see one. I'm so thankful for this board or I would never have known that I should probably see one. The OB I'm seeing now mentioned the high-risk clinic that's nearby but only to tell me that I will probably be frequenting it regularly if I do get pregnant because I'll most likely be really sick.

The bp has been very concerning to me because I almost think it may be some underlying issue causing it. My bp's returned to normal after having my son but my weight is about 40-50 lbs heavier than it was then so that may have something to do with it as well. Even though I've lost a good bit of weight I still need to lose more. I'm giving myself 3 months to get my weight down more and make sure my bp is well under control before proceeding with any fertility treatments.
Although I certainly don't wish this complication on any one, its certainly nice to have others that know what you're going through.