Lost our baby to HELLP syndrome...FB is killing me!

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Expand view Topic review: Lost our baby to HELLP syndrome...FB is killing me!

Re: Lost our baby to HELLP syndrome...FB is killing me!

Post by jfindley » Tue Mar 22, 2011 06:53 pm

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. While our 26weeker was in critical condition in the NICU, we had a hard time with Facebook. Some of our family who had received pics from us via email ended up posting the pics on FB with the kindest, proudest intentions, but it was devastating for us. We had them remove them asap but it opened us up to all kinds of questions and comments during a time we were in such shock and fear that we had a hard time dealing. As he stabilized(months later) we were ok with posting a few choice pics and sending out updates, but mostly we used personal email to update friends and fam. Our son survived, but it was still tough to see his cousins (all born within months of him, full term) photos posted and seeing what a difference there was between them even though they would eventually be considered the same age one day. Facebook is tough during these times, no doubt about it.

Re: Lost our baby to HELLP syndrome...FB is killing me!

Post by kerisue » Tue Feb 22, 2011 09:47 pm

I have a terrible time with facebook! Everyone always posting pics of their cute kids and their fabulous lives. A bunch of the mom's on FB got together for some kind of pumpkin outing around Halloween. But the constant Christmas cards with kid pics during the holiday season were worse. It's tough... I would want to do the same in their shoes. They deserve their joy... it's just that we do too.

Re: Lost our baby to HELLP syndrome...FB is killing me!

Post by cmccaffrey » Tue Feb 22, 2011 04:14 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I had early onset preeclampsia and went into the hospital at 28 weeks. Most of my friends found out about it because we had to cancel my baby shower. I started posting mainly to keep people updated and for prayers, etc. I delivered via emergency c-section at 30 weeks. My son was given a very good prognosis, however he ended up dying from respiratory distress a few days after birth. Because my son's doctors had been so optimistic, we did put up some facebook posts and even some photos of him. When he died we had to make an announcement because people were still making comments over the birth and sending gifts and flowers and things. It was really difficult and to top it off, I had several friends who were expecting around the same time and had to see all of those women deliver their children and go home with them. I still can't even stand it and cry a lot over it. I so desperately want to be happy for these people, but it's not fair. I have tried not going on facebook or even "hiding" all those people who are expecting or just had babies, but it's still hard because then I feel bad for not being supportive towards them. It's a difficult position to be in and I am so sorry that you are having to go through it.

Lost our baby to HELLP syndrome...FB is killing me!

Post by cakesabake » Tue Feb 22, 2011 11:24 am

Please weigh in....if you had complications with your pregnancy did you post it on FB? Also if your lost your baby did you have a hard time being on FB afterward (seeing others pics of babies, or people posting the length and weight of their newborn babies?)