I also requested the records of my sons birth and read them to help me know what happened during those first few days. I always tell my self that I just need to be greatful that we are both happy and healthy and that it doesnt matter how he was brought into this world. Saying this is much easier then believing it. As time passes though it gets easier to accept. My son is now 5 and it doesnt bother me any more, instead now I think about the possibility of having another child or choosing not to. I always thought pregnancy was such a care free and fun thing until this happened. Now I make it my personal mission to warn all pregnant people I know to watch for the unexpected. I have to say that the hardest thing for me since having my son was my sister being pregnant. I was irrationally scared that somthing was going to happen to her. I was scared she was going to get hellp syndrome too. Thankfully she had her little girl without any signs of hellp syndrome. Just remember that you are not alone and that there are lots of wonderful people here to talk with that understand.

**HUGS**

From Surrey! (hope you are warmer than us at the moment!).

It does get better, easier to talk about and somewhat easier to hear stories of "easy labours/pregnancies". If you are interested in finding out what happened during the time you don't remember you can request your medical records from the hospital that treated you. My son was born at 38 weeks, induced due to a late diagnosis of Class 1 HELLP and I remember less than 2 hours of the first 48 of his life and have recently requested my records. Took a month but I have them now - important for me as I am considering a second pregnancy and wanted to be fully armed with knowledge before talking to GP and consultant!

Must dash - *hugs* again!

Hey Ashleigh,
I can tell you things will get better. I had my son 3 weeks early with HELLP syndrome that went undiagnosed because I did not have high blood pressure. I did get to see him briefly after his birth, but it was just a glance and they took him away. I went to ICU and I can remember being so sad because I could not hold by baby. I even cried when they took me to the ct scanner. I was only in the hospital for four days, but it seemed like an eternity. I had never been sick like that before and it was very difficult. I can't even imagine what you went through spending 5 weeks away from your loved ones. It is hard to explain to someone who has never been through the experience. I was very very emotional afterwards and I couldn't even look up HELLP syndrome for about six months. He is two years old now and I am pregnant again. I am so glad that you have a happy healthy baby and I wish the best for you. It will get better day by day and eventually life with become more normal, you will just have a rug-rat to chase around all day ;).

Hi Ashleigh,
Welcome to the forum! I am sorry that you had to find us here, but we are glad to have you. Congrats on your little girl. It is great to hear that she is doing well. Many of us have dealt with PTSD and post-partum depression after traumatic births. This forum helped me through a lot of it. Stop by the main Ask the Experienced forum and introduce yourself if you get the chance. There is a little more traffic over there.

Hi My name is Ashleigh Im 21 years old and have a beautiful 5 month old little girl.
I have been suffering badly with PND and PTSD since my daughter was born 11 weeks early becasue of HELLP syndrome! I live in the shetland islands and there is no-one else up here that has suffered the same thing so I have no one to talk to!

I was very ill when she was born but was put to sleep for the emergancy c-section and cant remember anything about being taken in to hospital or for a few days after so latley my mind has been making up what happened and I have suffered awful nightmares heres what happened!

On the 10th august (friday) 2012 I saw my midwife and told her I was experiencing pain around my ribs and up my right side but she told me I was being silly and couldnt possibly be feeling any rib pain at 28 weeks of pregnancy so I didnt bother getting a second opinion when the pain got worse! 4 days later on the tuesday 14th aug I went to bed at night as normal but was in the worst pain imaginable and had been for a few nights so I woke my partner and called the hospital who told me to come in as something wasnt right as soon as I got through the door the midwife on duty told me I looked awful and did a few routine checks (blood pressure and urine) and they were very bad results that came back so I was flown away to glasgow hospital with my parnter at 4am!
once there I was rushed in to ICU and had to have plattlets pumped in to me before I could be operated on as my platlet levels were at 10 when they should read 300! and was told I would have to deliver my baby at 29+3weeks! I dont remember much from then on as I was knocked out for the op and was in ICU for 3 days after not even allowed to meet my tiny 2lb 7oz baby girl which was awful for me! she is doing fine now shes a healthy 10lb baby at 5months and is a cheeky monkey but spending 5 weeks away from home while she was in the special care baby unit was hard I was alone alot as my partner had to fly home to make money! just looking for some people who have been in the same situation to chat too! :D