The First Time...

[dominichazon]

This looks crazy, but I'm a little hesitate to express my words when I first help my son. It can't be expressed by writing some words, it was beyond words and I hope no words in dictionary to express certain moments like this.

[laney_p]

This is so powerful, heblek. Really love it.

[heblek]

Mommy, can I be a big sister?
I'd be a good big sister!
A look
a glance
A change of subject
Do you want to go see kittens?
How can I tell you?
You already Are.
They see you, watch you grow.
They are proud of you.
Their big sister
But you won't know them,
Hold them,
Love them,
Hate them.
Mommy did, for a short time,
their life time
you, love, are all we have, can have
But I hope you always feel love for three

[alton]

When we finally arrived at the hospital, i was told that I had lost my Baby, and that i would need to be rushed into emergency surgery because I had lost a lot of blood, and now they were going to try and save my life. I was still pleadng with "God" to save my baby, as I felt my eyes go to sleep. When I awoke, the first words out of my mouth were, "Where is my Baby, is she alive?"

[wooleybear]

BBC the book I read was called The losses of Our Lives, the sacred gifts of renewal in everyday loss. It is by Dr Nancy Copeland-Payton.


It was a nice read, a little on the religious side, but it has creative things to journal about after every chapter which is nice, because when you feel a sad moment in the future, you can revisit the book and do one of her journal entries.

[admin]

So sorry for your losses, BBC & wooleybear. These poems are both beautiful; thank you for sharing your experience through your poetry!

[BBC]

In My Hands, what a beautiful poem. Feels like I wrote it about my expereince with my son. What was the name of the book you read?

[wooleybear]

Here is another, poetry really helps me

HELD BY A STRING

The white gauze fabric
that daddy brought home from Africa,
is rooted in half your history.
I was asked to pull a thread.
Did it come out gently?
Did it pull with tension?

As I pulled it gracefully,
un-weaving itself from the other strings.
But at the end it stayed tight.

I had to pull real hard,
to let it go completely.
Like the loss of you
sweet baby Soleil,
You gracefully fell from life.

I may not be ready yet.
But like the end of the string,
with a tug, a pull, and all my might,
I will have to work hard to let you go,
with kindness, with love, with peace.

[wooleybear]

I just wrote this poem after reading a self help book about loss that asked me to journal a thought.

IN MY HANDS

Letting go
won't happen yet.
I close my eyes
as I hold you
in my hands.

Asked to let you go,
I still can not.
Your warmness
warms my heart.

I will hold you
when I close my eyes,
and when I'm ready,
I will release you back to heaven.


*****Soleil Sophia, born still on May 23 2012, due to severe PE

[admin]

Write a poem, short story, or song about the first time you held your baby after your preeclampsia, eclampsia or HELLP syndrome experience and tell us about it here!