I've been MIA for a while.. Moving, settling in, etc..
This time last year is when my pre-e blasted into my life. Everyday this week has been filled with anxiety and flashbacks. I know that next week will be even worse (I delivered on Nov 26 of last year)...
I feel like I should be overjoyed at my daughter's first birthday, and I am, but I just have all of these horrible memories that are just now resurfacing. I've been so weepy and so anxious, I went to the doc today and got a script for Celexa.
Also, tomorrow is Ainsley's 2nd heart evaluation and we find out about her heart surgery. It seems so unbelievable that she has three heart defects and will need surgery.
I just keep hoping after next week, I will mentally feel better. The hardest days will be next Tuesday, the day my bp spiked and I blacked out twice, when I was admitted to the hospital... And Wednesday, Ainsley's birthday, when all * broke loose and we both nearly died.
I know I should feel grateful that both of us are here, and I do, but I just feel so overwhelmed with the memories....
Oh, and we tried to go off my bp meds again, and three days later, my bp soared. It's just so frustrating that pre-e is still "around."
Ainsley Kathryn 11/26/02-36 Weeks Preeclampsia