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feelings of loss/really an emergency?

This section is for discussions with other women who have probably been through the same signs/symptoms that you may be experiencing. Please note, we cannot offer medical advice and encourage members to discuss their concerns with their doctors. New members, come on in and introduce yourself!

Re : feelings of loss/really an emergency?

Postby julie f » Tue Dec 23, 2003 09:46 am

There are big gaps in my memory from my hospital stay and my first couple weeks at home. I think in the hospital it was due more to the mag but, once I got home from just the shock. I too wanted to know every detail of my delivery and begged my husband to fill in all the holes. Unfortunately though, my husband usually refuses to speak about it, saying that he has no desire to go down that road.

Can you make an appt with your OB to discuss a lot of these things? I was fortunate in that mine took as much time as I wanted/needed after delivery to try and make sense of it all.

As far as your current meds go, I would keep calling that doctor until you get a response. Post-partum depression seems to be common after "normal" pregnancies/deliveries so, I can only imagine what that means for the rest of us...

37 weeks is great and many of us pray that we make it there next time but, unfortunately it doesn't gaurantee that all will be well. I think that technically your baby is not considered a preemie but, preeclampsia can still cause many horrendous things for both you and baby. I have read far too many stories here of women making to to 37 weeks + with preeclampsia and then delivering a still-born baby because they IMO, they were not cared for properly or, things went from bad to worse way too quickly... I really think that your doctor was trying to ensure you and baby the best possible outcome.

Please take care

Julie
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26 weeks due to severe pe
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Re : feelings of loss/really an emergency?

Postby catherine » Tue Dec 23, 2003 12:21 am

I totally understand how disorientating it is to not remember such a crucial event in your life, I have lost almost 3 days of my life to preeclampsia. That includes a failed induction, a C-section and being reunited with my husband who was out of state when my daughter was born. Try as I might to dig in my memory there is just nothing there.

It is so very normal to feel loss even when things go really smoothly. Especially when it is your first child. When you are pregnant there is so much anticipation of labor and delivery, without a clear vision of what happens afterwards. Then you end up feeling cheated if it happens sooner than anticipated. The experience you went through just makes everything worse by factors of 10. I think that it is good that you are already using medication to try and control your depression and just keep on until you find the one that works. The physical energy that you have to put in to recovering, not to mention the stresses of learning how to be a mom, is so draining.

Time will take the sting away. Now that Lucy is a toddling Diva, there are many happy memories to override my sense of loss and I have more perspective on it than I had in the beginning. I had another baby this summer (Chloe)and I was a bit concerned that I would feel differently about her. It turns out that each occasion is unique in its own way and the complications surrounding Lucy's birth don't overshadow her or make her birth any less happy than for the other two.

I hope that you start feeling better soon, do come and share here if you feel you need. I, like Julie, have a husband who refuses to talk in specifics about the experience.




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Re : feelings of loss/really an emergency?

Postby natan » Tue Dec 23, 2003 01:39 pm

Right now your feelings are all filled with mixed emotions. Holiday seasons tend to do this. But in a few month, you are going to see your daughter grow into a beautiful child. Happy, smiling, and laughing. There are a lot of women on this form who would love to have what you have. And in a year or so, you will probably decide to go through it again or abopt, or have one child. There all personal choices. Nobody else can blame you or anybody else for what happened. Please!! Don't be angry at yourself. Lets work together to help find a cure.

Be blessed with what you have. Your baby and your health.

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Re : feelings of loss/really an emergency?

Postby joanne » Wed Dec 24, 2003 03:34 am

You do feel a bit cheated but we turn into the best mums because we appreciate what we have - honest.

You must look on this as you did your very best for your child and as a result you have a perfectly healthy baby. If you had soldiered on for the "whole natural experience" the result would not have been the same. You did yourself and your baby a great service and you beat pre eclampsia - something to celebrate!

Jo

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Re : feelings of loss/really an emergency?

Postby twolfgram » Wed Dec 24, 2003 07:54 am

[quote]Originally posted by Joanne

If you had soldiered on for the "whole natural experience" the result would not have been the same. You did yourself and your baby a great service and you beat pre eclampsia - something to celebrate!

Jo

My sentiments exactly, I had an emergency C-section with my 28 weeker and felt cheated as well. I wanted to experience going into labor and childbirth naturally. Well, the second time around I did, having to be induced to deliver my stillborn son. I got to experience labor and childbirth, and it's an experience I cherish, I just wish, obviously, it would have had a different outcome. Try to focus on the fact that you and your daughter are healthy!!



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Re : feelings of loss/really an emergency?

Postby tresa » Wed Dec 24, 2003 04:01 pm

Therese
How old was your stillborn? How far along were you? I am so sorry you went through that. How is your 28 weeker doing?

After 5 years of trying we are finally pregnant! Went through treatments and finally ended up pg with Ovulex and green tea. Max Thomas is due March 6th but will probably be induced end of Feb. He weighs 3 lbs as of 12-18
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Re : feelings of loss/really an emergency?

Postby twolfgram » Tue Dec 30, 2003 11:10 am

quote:
Originally posted by tresa

Therese
How old was your stillborn? How far along were you? I am so sorry you went through that. How is your 28 weeker doing?

After 5 years of trying we are finally pregnant! Went through treatments and finally ended up pg with Ovulex and green tea. Max Thomas is due March 6th but will probably be induced end of Feb. He weighs 3 lbs as of 12-18



HI Tresa,

I was 29 weeks along with Erik when he was stillborn. He was 2# 14.9 oz and 17 inches compared to Jonathan, who was 28 weeks, 2# 3 oz and 14 inches long. Jonathan is doing great - he's reading at a 4th grade level in second grade and physically shows no signs of being a preemie! Congrats on your pg! Erik was due on March 6, actually! Sounds like you're doing great! Thanks for asking!

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