by josiah1112 (1368 Posts), Thu Jan 08, 2004 08:23 am
Dear Wyatts mama,
You are so extremely blessed to have your son with you today! I very much like you, took care of myself and wanted the best for my baby. The NICU was such a hard experience for me to bear. I hated to see what my son had to endure. It made me feel like I had not done my
job as a mother of protecting him in the womb. It's such a
horrible feeling. I lost my son after 22 days in the NICU due to liver failure.
When I think of trying again I am very scared. I don't
necessarily think it for myself as much as for the little
being I would be bringing into this world. I would hate for him or her to suffer. My husband is also scared of losing me to PE and
I don't think I could bear to lose another precious baby.
I don't know, life is such a risk. Yesterday I went to my first
perinatal bereavement group. There were 3 couples there that had lost
their babies. Their babies were stillbirth after long uneventful
pregnancies. So... it's ironic. The baby of a mom with lots of
complications can make it and the baby of a mom with no complications
can just die at the end at times for unexplainable reasons. Whatever
you decide to do in the future you can only do your part in the baby bearing process (get monitored; drink your vitamins,etc.). The rest we have no control over.
Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03 - 12/4/03 @ 26.3 wks PE