Venting and questioning

This section is for discussions with other women who have probably been through the same signs/symptoms that you may be experiencing. Please note, we cannot offer medical advice and encourage members to discuss their concerns with their doctors. New members, come on in and introduce yourself!
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caryn
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby caryn » Sat Jun 24, 638305 7:07 pm

There isn't really anything docs *can* do but watch and wait, unfortunately. There's no good evidence that any therapies, and I'm including bedrest, antihypertensives, baby aspirin, and heparin, do *anything* significant to prolong pregnancy, delay onset, or improve outcomes if they're started at 27 weeks. And the data on blood thinners early in pregnancy is getting less robust with time, rather than more.

(MTHFR can cause elevated homocysteine because the way your body metabolizes folic acid is a little different, and extra folic acid can lower homocysteine.)

The trick, I think, is just not to have expectations, apart from expecting to respond to circumstances as they arise. :-)

anrmacon
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby anrmacon » Mon Jun 12, 638305 4:19 pm

Honestly, I like my docs, but I wonder if they are proactive enough. They both seem to feel that it's not a matter of IF, but WHEN the PE develops, and neither seem to want to DO anything except watch and wait. I love that they are watching so carefully, but....I don't know. It's frustrating. I told my OB this week that I just want a magic cure all. He took his glasses off, rubbed his eyes, sighed, and responded that that would certainly be nice. I asked when I can expect them to do something, and he said when my pressures are higher, there are fetal indicators, and I start spilling protein. Okay, so I feel like poop almost all the time now. My bp is already 30+ points above baseline (systolic, mostly), but usually on the low end of the yardstick- 140/90. (It likes to hang out around 138-140/78-80 and my baseline is in the low-mid 90's/low 50's.) I know bp itself is dangerous. I don't even have to take my bp anymore to tell when it's high b/c I feel so bad, but no bp meds. I asked about the limited activity...he said to do what I feel like doing because in the long run, it's not going to prevent the PE. It makes sense, I guess. Maybe I'm just stressing myself out unnecessarily. I just haven't learned to accept that what will be, will. He did test for the MTHFR gene this week and give me a new prenatal vit. w/extra folic acid. (That somehow ties into the gene.) Ya know, I think I have a serious case of "I want to have my cake and eat it, too." I have three wonderful, healthy, often obnoxious (LOL-j/k) little boys. I need to somehow get over the fact that there's always medical intervention in my deliveries and my pregnancies aren't honeymoons and be grateful for what I have. My docs aren't very proactive, but they are very observant and caring, which is more than I've ever before had. Hmm...where did I hide the chocolate???

trish
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby trish » Sun Apr 16, 638305 7:28 pm

(((HUGS))) I totally understand where you are. I was in the same place (about 20 weeks or so) this time last year. My 3 year old will still sometimes say to me "mommy you can run now right? now that Allison isn't in your tummy anymore?" And she was just barely 2 1/2 when all my "limited activity" and then bedrest started.
I was on BP meds throughout my entire last pregnancy and it was still plenty easy to tell when PE started. BP meds will just keep your BP more manageable but won't mask significant weight gain from swelling, killer "PE" headaches, spilling protein etc.

mom29
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby mom29 » Sun Apr 16, 638305 3:10 am

It IS so hard not being to do things with your older children, feeling totally exhausted, and worried about the pregnancy. I had to remind myself that in a lifespan, the temporary time mom wasn't able to do things was not going to scar my children for life. Other events in life will overshawdow this time.
I get migraines and my reg. OB refused to prescribe anything. So I went a chiropractor, got some adjustments and took ummm, we probably aren't allowed give any advice that can be construed as medical advice but you can pm me and I can tell you what I took for the migraines.

willow&sam
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby willow&sam » Fri Apr 14, 638305 2:43 pm

I certainly know where you are coming from - especially with regards to the other kids. I constantly feel so much guilt for all the things we are not doing and with how much TV they end up watching. It's killing me and it's just going to get worse next week when my oldest goes on vacation with my parents and extended family but my younger son gets to stay home with DH and I and be bored to tears. I keep telling myself that at 2+ he doesn't know what he's missing but I know. "Mommy can't do that now because of ...." I have run out of ways to tell my kids about what's going on without freaking them out too much. The things this disease robs you of - even when you don't actually have it this time around - can be pretty hard to bare and if you haven't been through it, you can't understand. This site is a godsend and I am thankful everyday for the love and support that we find here.

anthonyleah12
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby anthonyleah12 » Wed Apr 05, 638305 2:51 pm

I can relate to how you feel too. If it wasn't for this forum I would probably be in the nut house. This is the best support group online. I hope things get easier for you. And, I wonder why your doctor still wont put you on BP meds, it may be able to slow down the progression of it? keep us updated.

Leah

anrmacon
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby anrmacon » Wed Apr 05, 638305 9:22 am

If it weren't for this forum, I think I may just go bonkers! It is indescribably nice to have a group of people who actually understand how I feel and what I'm going through. Every time I've tried to talk to my friends around here (who've never experienced PE), they look at me like I've sprouted three heads or something! So, thanks, everyone, for being there.

hhbeachgurl
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Re : Venting and questioning

Postby hhbeachgurl » Wed Apr 05, 638305 12:58 am

Sending you hugs. I understan the frustration you feel. While I have only done it once, I get jelous of normal preggo people LoL. MY bf is preggo right now with her 3rd, uncomplicated pregnancy and is planning a home birth. JELOUSE LOL and she knows it but I told her I would live vicariously through her.

Hang in there, I know it is no fun. HUGS

anrmacon
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Venting and questioning

Postby anrmacon » Wed Apr 05, 638305 12:12 am

It's me again. :-( Sometimes, like right this minute, I wonder why I do this to myself over and over again. Why don't I just adopt?? It's got to be easier and, obviously, less physically stressful than having PE! Okay, so I'm just shy of 27 weeks, but I am already so tired of feeling like crap. I know that's selfish, especially considering that keeping baby in is best for baby at this time. However, I want to feel good! My neighbor is pregnant, too, and although I am honestly thrilled for her, I am so dang jealous! She's doing great- energetic, glowing, happy, healthy, and having a girl. She's also planning a midwife birth...my dream birth. Here I am with tears in my eyes, frustrated, on "limited activity" (what my doc calls modified bedrest), being seen all the time by not one but two doctors....well, you all know the drill. Yes, I am grateful for my wonderful doctors, so please don't take it that way. Just once, I want to have a healthy pregnancy! I don't want to worry about what folding a basket of laundry is going to do with my blood pressure. I don't want to lay on the sofa all day while my kids are bored stiff during their summer break- I want to take them to museums and parks! It's so unfair!
I love pregnancy. I love feeling the baby move and kick. I don't even mind vomiting during pregnancy, but I hate preeclampsia. I hate feeling like an inadequate mother to my other three children because I can not do things other mommies do with their kids. I hate the expression on my kids' faces when they want me to do something with them and I have to tell them for the millionth time that Mommy is sick and can't run around with them. I hate being scared and worried, and I really hate it when people ask me, "Are you finally going to stop having kids now?" I can't stand that no one seems to understand that although the process is so difficult, emotionally and physically, that I would do it again and again because I love my kids THAT much! So, am I crazy? Probably...to some degree.

I'm sorry. I just needed to vent to someone who probably would be able to understand how I feel.

My peri doesn't want me on bp meds b/c he's afraid it'll mask the bp symptoms. I can understand that. He said the midrin (prescribed for headaches by my first OB) wasn't going to help the headache, just make me loopy. (Ya think?? It certainly doesn't relieve the pain. I just don't care anymore.) I see him again in a few days, and I'm thinking of the steriod shots for baby's lungs...when are they recommended? I have this fear that things are going to start moving quickly sooner rather than later and maybe I should just request the shots. What do you think? More paranoria?? I'm just about done preparing for baby's arrival. I've had this...anxiety...about getting everything ready for him RIGHT NOW! I'm starting to calm down about that, knowing that I'm just about finished. We're house hunting, too, but I've decided I'll do the computer work and my dh can go out to do the actual leg work. IF we find the perfect house before baby, I'll supervise the packing, but that will be the extent of my involvement. With that decided, I feel better about the whole process. It serves as a good distraction...My emotions are just all over the place; I need to get a handle on them.


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