Why do i always have this feeling...please help

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thaiba2000
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Re: Why do i always have this feeling...please help

Postby thaiba2000 » Tue Aug 02, 2011 04:49 pm

Awwww, thank you. Its nice too see so many people on here who are just so positive. All i have here is people telling me never to get pregnant again. Its nice knowing other people feel the same way as i do and crave for either the pregnancy, another baby OR just both.

For me, my last (recent pregnancy) was the most ive been pregnant and thats why im missing my pregnancy so much. I also want another child but if u read my 1st post the feelings of happiness were totally ruined by things people said about the gender of the baby...i feel pressured to have a boy next time and the worry is what if i dont have a boy and have a 3rd girl... but do you know what, babys, girl or boy, are all blessings from god and especially in my case having Pre-e twice and to have a normal LONG full term pregnancy and to have a Vbac after 2 c-sections...thats the biggest blessing, my biggest achievement in my life and i need to keep reminding myself of that so i can ignore silly comments about the gender of my children.

I really would like a 4th child but not right now. Ive moved on from the depression stage of missing my pregnancy so much that i wanted to get pregnant again straight away lol. I know i will have a 4th but once my children are older....theres 3 and half years between my children so maybe i will wait another 3 years before deciding. Children are just wonderful and although mine do get on my nerves sometimes i love them sooooo much!

Does anyone have 4 children here? How did you decide to have a 4th? Did u worry about coping?
England, Luton Thaiba (28) and Adil (37)
My son (first child) born via Emergency caesarean at 36+6 weeks (04/11/03) due to PE. Weighed 4lbs 1oz.
My daughter (second child) born at 33+4 weeks via Shceduled caesarean (19/07/07) due to SEVERE PE. Was in special care for 1 month. Weighed 3lbs 5oz.
My 2nd daughter (third child) born by successful Vaginal Birth after 2 c-sections (VBA2C) (26/05/11) full term at 40+1 weeks. Weighed 6lbs 10oz. PE FREE!

Korunner_26
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Re: Why do i always have this feeling...please help

Postby Korunner_26 » Tue Aug 02, 2011 02:33 pm

I have felt that each time. I have three boys ages 4, 3, and 19 months. I just delivered a set of twins via gestational surrogacy (severe pre-e and mild HELLP) and finally figured out: immediately after the delivery it's pregnancy I miss more than I want another child. I love my surrotwins but do not wish they were mine. I miss the pregnancy part like crazy though! Like another poster said, the feelings change over time and as things ebb and flow you'll figure out if you really want that fourth baby--and if you do, go for it! Heck, I'd have 10 kids if I could :D

thaiba2000
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Re: Why do i always have this feeling...please help

Postby thaiba2000 » Tue Aug 02, 2011 06:51 am

Thank you everyone. Well my daughter is nearly 10 weeks old and although i still have those feelings of wanting another baby etc etc its not half as bad as it was when i made my 1st post. I love my daughter to bits and life is just great. People still go on about "oh did you have another girl" but i just tell them to be quiet. Who are we to argue with what god chooses to give us! Im so much more confident now and love my children. My only worry right now is that my kids are growing up too quickly. My son nearly 8. My 1st daughter has just turned 4 and my baby daughter is already 10 weeks old...Noooooooo. I told my hubby that at them moment i dont want anotherr baby HOWEVER once the children are a bit older (when my youngest is about 4 or 5) and im just bored at home...thats when i will try for my 4th child. But 4 kids...my my my, that will be hard work lol but i cant help but love babys and i love watching them grow.
England, Luton Thaiba (28) and Adil (37)
My son (first child) born via Emergency caesarean at 36+6 weeks (04/11/03) due to PE. Weighed 4lbs 1oz.
My daughter (second child) born at 33+4 weeks via Shceduled caesarean (19/07/07) due to SEVERE PE. Was in special care for 1 month. Weighed 3lbs 5oz.
My 2nd daughter (third child) born by successful Vaginal Birth after 2 c-sections (VBA2C) (26/05/11) full term at 40+1 weeks. Weighed 6lbs 10oz. PE FREE!

susheli
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Re: Why do i always have this feeling...please help

Postby susheli » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:18 pm

Hi,
I think sometimes our bodies long for the state of pregnancy, of closeness with a baby, after birth. Birth is a transition, a letting go. It is also hard to accept the knowledge that that has possibly been your last pregnancy. I was told by my MFM after my second severe PE pregnancy and a life-threatening moment during my second section that I can have no more. Of course my body doesn't always listen to reason! Babies are wonderful, precious gifts ...
For now it is too early for you to know what you'll be feeling in 3 years. Hopefully you can enjoy your newest little girl without feeling too much pressure to "know" what your decision will be re another. Girls are wonderful! I'm a mom of two and though I often got - oh, did you wish for a boy, my answer was always that I feel endlessly lucky to have my two daughters.
Susannah

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panguitch02
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Location: California

Re: Why do i always have this feeling...please help

Postby panguitch02 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:11 pm

I felt the same way....but the feeling slowly faded. My DD is now 6 months and I am pretty satisfied with two, but right after her her birth and for several months after I felt baby fever. Hormones played with my head.

DH wants to have a "vasectomy party" with a few friends, but I want to wait a few years to be 100% sure.
Shannon (34) & Jason (35)
Jameson 6/1/07 33 weeks to Severe PE... 5 weeks NICU
Lilah Noel 1/2/11 PIH from 19 weeks... VBAC at 40 weeks

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aajatwins
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Re: Why do i always have this feeling...please help

Postby aajatwins » Mon Jul 18, 2011 02:08 pm

Let me just say, first, that I never believe wanting more children is wrong - children are a blessing from God.
I totally understand wanting a different (much better!) birth experience, too. I'm right there with you. And I'm pretty sure I started pretty early on after the boys were born wanting that next pregnancy so that everything would go perfectly and I'd "feel better" about their delivery.

I don't think having another child for the sole purpose of trying for another boy is a good idea, simply because if it doesn't happen, you will probably be disappointed (even though you would certainly love your child). but that would put added pressure and then guilt on you and it's totally unnecessary. For example, a friend of mine got pregnant at 38 yrs old - trying for a boy - and she already had 3 girls... she had twins girls! But on the other hand, another friend has 3 boys and just wanted more kids and now she's pregnant with a girl. I am not saying either of those outcomes was determined by the mother's attitude - I certainly don't believe that. And both have found joy in their children, of course. I just think that you would need to be grounded in your contentment with whatever gender comes next before you go another round!

And, if it makes you feel better, just imagine you see a small, young, pregnant mother with identical twin toddler boys in the store. *That's me.* You ask what she's having and she says it's another boy. Most people will never tell me to try for a girl. Most people think I'm off my rocker to have any more children after a set of twins. but everyone acts so disappointed for me when I say it's another boy. Of course, I would love to have girls, but I happen to love being a boy mom.
Just my thoughts. I don't think you're ridiculous!! ;)
Anna (28) - endometriosis
Hubby (27)
Aidan & Jordan - 7.2.09 at 36 weeks. Induction turned emergency c-section due to eclampsia. big healthy toddlers today!
Asa - 10.23.11 at 39 weeks. NO hypertensive issues!! successful VBAC :)

thaiba2000
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Posts: 68
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 07:37 pm

Why do i always have this feeling...please help

Postby thaiba2000 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 05:07 am

Hi guys, dont worry, im absolutely fine and enjoying life with my 3 children. The reason for my post here is because i need someone to put me in my place and either tell me its completely normal to feel the way im feeling or its a absolutely ridiculous!

My baby is 7 weeks and 4 days old and eversince the day she was born ive been telling everyone that i want another baby in 3 years time. The pregnancy went so well and i got to have my vbac which made me more determined to do it again. But 4 children will be hard but more importantly WHY am i thinking about all this now when i just gave birth to my baby. This happened to me after had my 1st daughter too...

Am i being stupid and has anyone else every felt like that and acted on it???

Another reason is that all throughout my pregancy evryone thought i was carrying a boy but it turned out to be a girl and i think my hubby deep down wanted a boy...the worst thing is he actually told me that a boy would have been better so my oldest wouldnt feel lonely...he didnt mean it the way i took it but i know i went into a bit of depresion because of it. Im constantly looking for people who have had 1 boy and 2 girls to see of they are happy or not. Dont get me wrong, my hubby loves our children bu he chose the wrong time to say what he did. So now im more determned to have a baby just to see if we have a boy....how wrong is that!? Im so happy with what god has blessed me with especially after two traumatc pregnancies.

My wish for another pregnancy was only for another healthy pregnancy (if it happens again) but now i feel that wish has been interupted with the pressure to have a boy.

The thing is its not just my husband, when i walk to school to drop of my children random people come up to me to tell me to "try for a boy" next time Errrrr, im afraid thats not up to me.... I kind of feel my happiness has been snatched from me and to be honest i kinda feel Crap about the whole thing...

What if i get pregnant again and have another girl? I know i will be happy to have another healthy baby but will my happness be snatched again????
England, Luton Thaiba (28) and Adil (37)
My son (first child) born via Emergency caesarean at 36+6 weeks (04/11/03) due to PE. Weighed 4lbs 1oz.
My daughter (second child) born at 33+4 weeks via Shceduled caesarean (19/07/07) due to SEVERE PE. Was in special care for 1 month. Weighed 3lbs 5oz.
My 2nd daughter (third child) born by successful Vaginal Birth after 2 c-sections (VBA2C) (26/05/11) full term at 40+1 weeks. Weighed 6lbs 10oz. PE FREE!


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