Very soon 20 weeks, nervous!

[whereowhere]

Hi, I lost twins last year at 21 weeks to severe preeclampsia. Though having twins is a risk for preeclampsia, I got it way earlier than normal, and I was a normal BMI. They put my risk at 60% of its returning at some time in a subsequent pregnancy. I am now 19 weeks and 3 days with a baby girl. So far, a little scare around 16 weeks with some slight rising BP's (the highest reached 130/90 which is not my norm), but now I seem to be having great BP's. I am still getting very nervous to enter the 20 week mark, especially since it hit me last time at the end of 20 weeks.

Any advice from other women on how they survived those early weeks when pre-e could come at any time, and the baby is too small to make it alive? Or anyone had any experience on just surviving pregnancy following traumatic pre-e in general without going crazy!? I am so afraid of having to go through the same horror, of not only losing my life, but the added fear of having to deliver a non-living child, one of the the worst horrors a mother can ever endure.

[iralu1]

Hi, I haven't yet attempted another pregnancy only having recently lost my baby after delivering at 27 weeks, but I am planning to follow in your footsteps and try again in a few months. Unfortunatley I'm unable to offer advice as I have not had another pregnancy yet but I wish you the best of luck and a happy and healthy full term pregnancy. I hope you will have good news to share with us all come September. You have my support and admiration and I'm sending you positive thoughts.

[MomTimesThree]

I made it through with most of my sanity intact (I'm sure some would beg to differ! ) through two subsequent pregnancies. It's so hard. Your eyes are so open to everything. You know too well that pregnancy is not a promise. And while those wide open eyes to everything that can happen make it all extra scary- it's also what you can rely on to provide you a little measure of comfort that you are an experienced momma. This pregnancy is different, and you are different- forever touched by your sweet twins.

I know its cliche, but one day at a time. A friend told me to "fake it, til I make it." So while I was uber scared to be excited or get attached to our 2nd, I did things anyway- took belly pictures, talked to baby, tried to do all the normal pregnancy things- along with all the non-normal things like having a spreadsheet of my care... doctors on "text" support... and the knowledge of how many days I was from viability and what my lil' one looked like at the same gestation their older sib was born. I also sought counsel from a psychologist that specialized in medical trauma and learned relaxation strategies that I credit with saving some of my sanity and a very peaceful birth.

One day- one week at a time- and lean on us and other friends and family who understand when you need.
Lauren

[Guest]

Hi, I haven't yet attempted another pregnancy only having recently lost my baby after delivering at 27 weeks, but I am planning to follow in your footsteps and try again in a few months. Unfortunatley I'm unable to offer advice as I have not had another pregnancy yet but I wish you the best of luck and a happy and healthy full term pregnancy. I hope you will have good news to share with us all come September. You have my support and admiration and I'm sending you positive thoughts.

Thank you for your thoughts. I am now at almost 20 and 1/2 weeks. I am doing a little better than expected. Trying hard to take it one day, one blood pressure reading at a time. Being grateful for every little kick from the baby, while I have her. I start to get dreaming about her being born healthy and whole, then I have to remind myself, I can only live this moment. I am glad that you are going to try again as well, it definitely takes more courage than I ever dreamed that I had.

[Guest]

I made it through with most of my sanity intact (I'm sure some would beg to differ! ) through two subsequent pregnancies. It's so hard. Your eyes are so open to everything. You know too well that pregnancy is not a promise. And while those wide open eyes to everything that can happen make it all extra scary- it's also what you can rely on to provide you a little measure of comfort that you are an experienced momma. This pregnancy is different, and you are different- forever touched by your sweet twins.

I know its cliche, but one day at a time. A friend told me to "fake it, til I make it." So while I was uber scared to be excited or get attached to our 2nd, I did things anyway- took belly pictures, talked to baby, tried to do all the normal pregnancy things- along with all the non-normal things like having a spreadsheet of my care... doctors on "text" support... and the knowledge of how many days I was from viability and what my lil' one looked like at the same gestation their older sib was born. I also sought counsel from a psychologist that specialized in medical trauma and learned relaxation strategies that I credit with saving some of my sanity and a very peaceful birth.

One day- one week at a time- and lean on us and other friends and family who understand when you need.
Lauren

Lauren,
Thank you so much for your encouraging and supportive words. I am trying to do all the things that helped you. It helps to have the support of women who have been through it as you have.