Trying Again?

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Trying Again?

Postby DawnA » Thu May 30, 2013 02:51 pm

Hello there,

My name is Dawn and in 2009 I had HELLP Syndrome in the very beginning on my third trimester. My son was C-Sectioned at 24 weeks and was in NICU for 79 days and myself hospitalized for 10. My son, thankfully, has just turned 4 and is a brilliant child. But I am running into some issues. Mostly fear but, I'm realizing more and more how much I would love another little addition to my family. I have been trying for about a year now to become pregnant. And with no luck I am starting to become discouraged. I am currently 28 years old and my doc tells me all is well. For the most part. Could my fear of having HELLP and Pre-E be getting in my way? I am open for suggestions and feedback. And please if anyone has had Severe HELLP and has had more children please tell me your story. I could use a good story to boost me back up. Anyone?
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Re: Trying Again?

Postby sam10 » Fri May 31, 2013 09:46 am

hello and welcome :D
I am not surprised that you are scared and nervous about trying to have another baby. Going through PE/HELLP is a traumatizing experience. Getting pregnant again is like putting yourself by choice into the same situation again. Who would want to do that? The good news is that the majority does not have PE/HELLP again in a subsequent pregnancy. The best advice I can give you is to see a MFM/peri (also called a high-risk OB) for a preconception consultation. S/he will assess your medical background and your case of PE/HELLP, might suggest to do some blood work to check for clotting disorders (which are thought to be correlated to PE/HELLP). Based on all that information, s/he will give you your personal re-currence likelihood. You can also discuss how your pregnancy care would look like.

To find one in your area, you can either check the website of your local hospital (search for maternal fetal medicine) or ask your regular OB for a name. Or, you can look one up on this website: https://www.smfm.org/MFM%20Member%20Locator%20Page.cfm

I was also very nervous throughout my second pregnancy. It was just not fun at all to wait for the shoe to drop. Nine months is a long time to be worried every day, but with the help of friends and family, a good counselor, a great doctor and nurses we pulled through one day at a time.

Good luck.
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
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Re: Trying Again?

Postby midwestmom » Fri May 31, 2013 02:43 pm

Hi,
We have sort of similar stories in that I delivered my son early (29wks) in 2009 and am now going to try to conceive again. My husband and I agree that we want another child, and in the abstract are willing to go through the risk, but the funny thing is, I was just cleared yesterday by my endocrinologist that my hypothyroidism is under control and I can begin ttc now, and after initially being happy and excited, my husband and I BOTH started to get heavy and panicky ----- already!!! and we haven't even gotten pregnant yet! I told him this morning that we have to figure out how to deal with this anxiety bc it's going to be a loooong road!
So I guess this is more of an empathetic message, but you're not alone out there. If you look around on this site there are many women who have gone down this road, many who've had successful pregnancies after HELLP/Pre-E, and those who've had reoccurences. The best thing to do is get a consultation with an MFM in your area, s/he should be able to give you a ballpark percentage for recurrence. Mine has been very encouraging to me to try again, and I use that encouragement to "calm me down", although I know nothing is guaranteed.

I do wish you the best through this process of deciding is you want to have another, it is not an easy decision AT ALL! :-)
Lauren
Son born by emergency C-section due to severe preeclampsia in August 2009. Born 29wks2days weighing 3lbs, he is a healthy toddler now.
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Re: Trying Again?

Postby midwestmom » Fri May 31, 2013 02:51 pm

Hi Dawn,
After re-reading your message, I realize that you have already been ttc, I completely misread that - sorry! I don't have any good suggestions as to why you're having some difficulty, except to say that I have read that stress can effect one's cycle, maybe that could be going on here? Have you tried using ovulation kits or other means for monitoring fertility?
I have definitely thought, seeing as I am very anxious about what will happen in the next pregnancy, that my anxiety may effect my fertility. This is just my non-OBYGYN opinion though. :-) I'm hoping that you get that "plus" on the home test soon! :-) Lauren
Lauren
Son born by emergency C-section due to severe preeclampsia in August 2009. Born 29wks2days weighing 3lbs, he is a healthy toddler now.
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Re: Trying Again?

Postby Dancingqueenjen » Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:09 am

Hi Dawn,

I am also looking for some support and found your post. I have a gorgeous baby boy who is 2 and a half and was born at 33 weeks by emergency c section due to pre e and after delivery I developed HELLP. It was 10 days in hospital for me and 17 for him. A platlet transfusion, discovering I was allergic to latex and all the medicines didn't make me in a rush to do it again so I didn't question much when the doctors said I had a 75% chance of reoccurrence at an earlier point of the pregnancy. I thought well one will be enough.

But then everyone starts having their second and asking when we would be and you start to wonder. Firstly we looked into adoption as we thought this was our only option and we were instantly told our chances were low due to the borough we live in and being white Christian as most of the children were of other ethnic or religious origins and they like to match them. So it was off to the GP (wait a month) then referral to a specialist (wait 3 more months) and finally some good news. Our risk of recurrence was downgraded to 25%, medication could lower it further and if it occurred it would be later and less severe. So we decided the odds we were the risk and started to try. 3 cycles gone ( my cycles are long 35 days) and nothing yet.

Like you I have been thinking of this baby for a year and it is hard to stay positive. What is harder is that my family doesn't know, we want to tell them when we have had the first scan and can calm their fears as well as our own, so I have no one to talk to about it.

I love my little boy and he keeps me same but of course all his friends' mummies are pregnant with their 2nd and you start to wonder what is wrong with your body, why aren't I pregnant and why can't we just have a straight forward pregnancy without all the added pressure.

I hope by the time you read this you have already had your good news and I will stay positive the little brother or sister for my boy is just around the corner!

Jennifer x
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