Advised not to carry again

This section is for discussions with other women who have probably been through the same signs/symptoms that you may be experiencing. Please note, we cannot offer medical advice and encourage members to discuss their concerns with their doctors. New members, come on in and introduce yourself!
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Re: Advised not to carry again

Postby laney_p » Mon Feb 26, 640216 3:59 am

Glad to say hi, KetchupSpud! So sorry for your losses... it's just so unfair and something that no parent should have to experience. I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing your experience here. Thank you.

Risk is such a hard thing to evaluate because every person is different and more importantly, every PREGNANCY is different. Hanging out with MFMs a lot, they'll tell you that they get just as frustrated not being able to just say "you have a 1 in 5 chance of getting it again" or "You are definitely going to develop it severely this time around." Nothing is consistent. I think also that the hardest part is that you can't breathe easy through any of your pregnancy again. Whether it does or not, you are constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop.

Wish you both the best as you make this most difficult decision.
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Re: Advised not to carry again

Postby KetchupSpud » Sat Feb 24, 640216 2:02 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been lurking for a while but haven't posted before. I had to deliver our twin boys at 23w5d due to severe pre-eclampsia. Logan lived for 3 days and Bryce for 3 weeks. Pre-eclampsia is just so unfair - I'm so sorry that we both, and so many others, know that all too well. We've also been struggling with whether to try again or not. Our first doctor, an MFM, had about the same reaction as your doctor. He told me his "favorite" research says 50% chance of it happening again with 15% of that being as severe. He concluded, "So the odds are in your favor - see you next pregnancy!" All of the research I can find is all across the board - anywhere from 7% to 70%. My regular OB thinks, with how severe and early mine was, that it will happen again, it's just a matter of how far I could make it. She's referred us to a different MFM, who we're meeting with in a few weeks. We're also talking to an RE this week. And like you, we're considering surrogacy. It's such a scary and frustrating thing. It kills me that nothing is consistent. I understand we haven't found a cause or cure, but you'd think the odds could at least be calculated more accurately than 7-70%. Or that the research about possible ways to prevent it could not contradict each other.

So, I guess I didn't really help at all - sorry! Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and that we're in the same boat as you. I wish you all the best. :)
Mama to Logan Patrick (8/23/14-8/26/14) & Bryce Anthony (8/23/14-9/13/14), frateral twins born at 23w5d due to severe pre-e turning into HELLP.
Hoping for a rainbow in Sept '16.

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Re: Advised not to carry again

Postby MomTimesThree » Sat Feb 03, 640216 1:52 am

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Grace. Loosing a child is a pain no parent should ever know yet sadly too many of us do.

I certainly wouldn't continue to seek any advice or care from your first doctor. Was the 2nd doctor you saw a high risk ob (MFM)? If not I would recommend you look for one in your area. They specialize in high risk pregnancies- and since complications are their norm and have specialized training they can give you the best sense of what is the right decision for you. As well as lay out a plan of care should the decision be to expand your family. For me this was really key. The niners only have me half the picture. What the next pregnancy would actually look like care wise helped me decide what was right for us.

Keep posted as you're able.
2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w

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Advised not to carry again

Postby vaneseltinejl » Fri Nov 12, 640213 6:27 pm

Once I found out a was pregnant I was thrilled with excitement and joy. My husband and I has just started trying and I could't believe how fast it happened. We went to the doctors right away and everything was great. I had extremely bad morning sickness from the very beginning till about 15 weeks pregnant. At 18 weeks we found out we were going to be having a little girl who we named, Grace Elise.

At 20 weeks I started swelling around my ankles but I didn't think much of it because I thought it was normal with pregnancy. At 21 weeks I went in for a routine doctors appointment at my OBGYN where they found that I had high BP. The doctor told me to monitor my BP 3 times a day for a week and come back in to see him. I did as he asked and my BP averaged 140/100 for that entire week. He told me that I could possibly have Preeclamsia but it was very unlikely. He told me to go home and fill my diet with water-filled fruits and vegetables. I did this and things continued to get worse, swelling was now in my hands, face, and ankles, and my BP was getting up to 160/105. I called the doctor back to let them know about things and they asked me to come back in. At that appointment I was 23 weeks and they found protein in my urine, high BP, and swelling. They then admitted me to the hospital as impatient on hospital bed rest. I was told that night that I could be delivering our baby in the next few days or weeks. I received steroid shots to help develop Grace's lungs, along with many, many ultrasounds to check her growth. The doctors told me that they were going to try to hold off on delivery until 25 weeks so the she would have a greater chance of surviving. 25 weeks came on a Saturday, our first wedding anniversary came on Sunday, then Monday came, worst day of my life.

That morning the nurse came in to find the heartbeat but couldn't. After four nurses and one doctors tried to find the heartbeat they told me that Grace had pasted. I was put on magnesium sulfate and my BP was 180/130. I delivered Grace two days later weighting at 1 lb and 3 oz. It felt like forever before I was able to go home but once I was released I made follow up appointment to check and my heeling and to ask about what is next. The group I was seeing told me "If you want to have a baby, have a baby." I was not satisfied with this answer. I wanted more details.

A year later I went for a second opinion and the doctor looked over my records, did research and found that with the severity of my Preeclamsia I have a 70% chance of getting it again and a 30% chance it will be that sever again. Numbers scare me. We discussed these numbers and the outcome of our first pregnancy and he told he would be best if we did surrogacy.

I don't know what to do. One doctor (who I was not happy with during my first pregnancy) told me to carry, another tells me not to (which I take very serious). Any words of advise would be appreciated.

Should I carry? not?

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