It certainly sounds like you have a good plan going forward. As far as your questions go:
Personally, I would ask about1. What would you suggest I have on my list of questions as I prepare for my appointment with my MFM?
- your odds of re-occurence in a subsequent pregnancy
- if they would recommend you take baby aspirin in a subsequent pregnancy (why or why not; and, if so, when to start taking it)
- if you should be tested for any underyling disorders (and what kind). Some of our posters have been tested for thrombophilias, auto-immune disorders, and even thyroid problems.
- should you be monitored more frequently in a subsequent pregnancy? If so, how and how often?
- you could also ask the MFM what your odds of being injured by a subsequent pregnancy would be.
I don't have any personal experience with a doula, but this forum was a sanity-saver for me during my second pregnancy. Also this may sound odd but buying a blood pressure monitor and checking my pressures at home made me feel productive (vs just sitting and worrying about my pressures).2. Did anyone use any particular support systems through a second pregnancy that kept you from going crazy? For example, is it worth it to consider having a doula? I know doulas and potentially emergency deliveries don't mesh well together, but it seems like they also serve as support through the pregnancy? I know this forum will also be a great source of support.
Odds are that subsequent pregnancies tend to go better, and if pre-e hits again it hits later or less severely. I did get preeclampsia again around the same time, but I think for me it is just genetic since my husband and father were both the result of preeclamptic pregnancies. And even though I got it again, it wasn't as severe.3. Does anyone have positive stories of pregnancies working out well the second time around? I'm not crazy, I know there's some big risks here, but I would love to indulge in some hope and keep those stories close to my heart.
Again, the odds are in your favor. But I understand it is hard to gamble with your health when there are no guarantees. It took me several years to decide to have a third child. I definitely had more frequent monitoring and testing in subsequent pregnancies, and knew I would be delivered at the least sign of serious trouble.4. My greatest fear is that I won't make it through another pregnancy. As in, it would be fatal. Nobody can guarantee me that it wouldn't be, and I know there are people in this forum who have lost women to this horrible disease. But, having an awareness of preeclampsia and personal experience with the symptoms, coupled with a plan involving an mfm and frequent monitoring (including at home) should keep me fairly safe, right? God I am so afraid, and yet I so want to do this.
I hope this helps, good luck!