It *is* really a challenging place to be after losing a baby. Know that your feelings and emotions are normal. Kyle reminded me of the first one every single day (both of my children still do). I remember feeling all mixed up - happy, sad, scared, overhwlemed, guilty. It can be so confusing. I had a really helpful doctor once who gave me an emotional comfort u/s when my doc was out-of-town during Kyle's pregnancy (I was pretty hysterical thinking Kyle died/PTSD) and she said, "Everything you are feeling is normal for you to feel after having gone through what you went through." It is hard not to feel completely insane, but know that you are not.
I don't mean to get ahead or add extra worry to your emotional pallette, but after your baby comes - please keep an eye on yourself (and have your family and friends keep close care of you) because post partum depression can be severe in mommies who have lost babies. Mine was and some professionals have told me that is common. Just be gentle with yourself. Pregnancy hormones on their own are insense, so take extra care.
Wishing you well for your delivery and recovery!
Katie, married to Doug. Mom to Fiona Elizabeth, stillborn June 21, 2008 @ 26w; Severe Preeclampsia. Loved. Kyle James, born October 29, 2009 @ 39w; Healthy and PE Free!!! Josephine, born Nov.17, 2011 @ 39w; PE free again. Woot!