self distruction

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : self distruction

Postby celticepona » Sun Aug 07, 2005 10:52 pm

All you can do is grieve and take care of yourself the best you try at least once a day to try to put something good into your body, I know it is not easy. (((huggssss))))

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Re : self distruction

Postby fiona » Sat Aug 06, 2005 02:23 am

Susan, I wish there were something I could offer beyond mere words. Who could expect you to turn around and pick up where you left off? We are our own harshest critics and we rush to punish ourselves. Please try and hold on, hug Carly tight, and remind yourself to breathe.

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Re : self distruction

Postby angelkat » Fri Aug 05, 2005 09:21 pm


I wish I could just run over to you and hug you!...

Sending you all of my prayers for peace, strength and comfort.

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Re : self distruction

Postby heatherbbb » Fri Aug 05, 2005 04:09 pm

I just wanted to add my support to all these other wonderful people. I wish you strength, courage, wisdom, peace, and health. I hope that the PE Conference will be a good experience for you. I will keep you in my prayers!

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Re : self distruction

Postby annegarrett » Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:11 am


I am so sorry that you are going through this. There is no right way to do this. I held things together when my mom died and then two years later found myself crying constantly. Cope however you need to and use whatever resources you have at your disposal to do so. Sending you all the hugs my heart can hold. Please be sure to say hello to Carol and Eleni when you go to the meeting. Both women, leaders of our organization, have lost their first born and will pass along the hug in person. Wishing you nothing but strength, hope and love during this tough time.

Much love to you,

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Re : self distruction

Postby julie f » Thu Aug 04, 2005 05:58 pm

Oh Susan, I wish there was something I could say...

You are right, there is no right answer. We can relive the past over and over again and it still makes no sense. I don't know how we pull ourselves out of it. I think we eventually get to the point where we make a decision to survive. And it will take every ounce of our being just to do that. Some days maybe you manage a piece of chicken and a salad, maybe some days you only have a cigarette and a piece of cake... Eventually, the days of good food will become more and the empty food less... The only practical suggestion I can offer on that it to keep the junk out of the house and buy plenty of ready-to-eat good for you things. After Zach died I had no energy or desire to make myself something to eat. The most I could manage was the microwave sometimes. I survived on ready-made sandwiches/burritos/pastas/salads/etc. I have no idea what Andy ate.

Susan, you remain in my prayers, I am so sorry for what you have been through and are going through.

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Re : self distruction

Postby timelessbeauty » Thu Aug 04, 2005 02:30 pm

No one can tell you how to grieve but merely explain the steps it will take to get to a point of continuing on with life. Sadness, depression, guilt, numbness, anger, longing and finally coping. It's all a process and each individual walks that path alone I used to think how ridiculous the folks who would get angry at the loved one that passed until I one day realized I was angry with my late husband for leaving ME to be the sole parent of a not yet 2 yr old daughter, making all the decisions for her alone, working all the time to pay bills on my own, surviving. And then when my son passed, I felt guilty in knowing the signs of PE and yet still having it happen to me. I had been through it once before with my oldest daughter, why had I not done better to prevent it? It just wasn't within my ability to stop these events. I talked with my cousin, an ordained minister, who told me it was ok to get ANGRY with God and tell Him how I felt.

You seem to be on the right path, your mind tells you logically you don't want to keep up this enduring pain cycle, and you have made strides to get past the horror by looking for inspiration, be it in song, poem, news article, PF threads, anything to uplift your spirit which is great. We are here to lift you when you cannot lift yourself. We may not know the exact depth of your pain but we have all felt hurt and know we would enjoy someone just spending the time to talk with us a moment or listen of all things.

Time may not exactly "heal" but as it goes by, it guides you to a point of coping and continuance. You go on for the sake of your child, for your own sake, and may even seek a purpose for your existance that you had not thought of before.

I am praying for you and your family. I wish upon you a peace and calm of knowing you are still loved and that You Are A Good Mother! Give yourself a hug for me and know that I am thinking of you.

I must go but will check up on you again.


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Re : self distruction

Postby sweetiesuzy » Thu Aug 04, 2005 01:19 pm

Susan -

There is no right way about any of this. Take each moment. You won't feel this forever. Thoughts and love your way -

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Re : self distruction

Postby cassie05 » Thu Aug 04, 2005 12:27 am

How are you doing Susan??

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Re : self distruction

Postby lorelei » Thu Aug 04, 2005 09:02 am

Ditto what everyone else has said Susan...

So sorry you are going through this....

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