update - my difficult week

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : update - my difficult week

Postby annegarrett » Mon Nov 04, 637354 12:30 pm

Lots of hugs Sam. It is so hard to say goodbye. Take care of yourself during this sad time and know we are all there with you in our hearts.

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Re : update - my difficult week

Postby melissam » Mon Nov 04, 637354 10:45 am

Sending huge hugs your way Sam. Thank you for sharing. It really is hard saying good bye.

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update - my difficult week

Postby froggie89 » Sat Oct 26, 637354 12:03 pm

Hi Everyone! While I hate to be back home, it's good to be able to come here and "talk".

We left on the 30th and I returned this past Saturday. I got teary-eyed when we left here 'cuz I knew why we were going to the cabin and I really didn't want to go but I did want to go (just to get away from everything). We went up the mountain on Tuesday - just getting to the highest point overlooking the area was a hurdle for me - I'm not tooo fond of heights. Anyways, I kept telling myself I had to make it for Alexander. Well, we got to the top and it was really windy. My dh decided to put the ashes on one of the big rocks and let the wind take his ashes where it wanted. We watched and the ashes didn't go anywhere for the longest time - it was like Alexander didn't want to leave us. We were up there for probably 45 minutes and not all the ashes had gone. I knew he was home and was enjoying it all - he didn't want to leave us and that made me feel good. A hawk flew over while we were there - dh said he was joining us in saying goodbye. I did really well that day. But when I left on Saturday (I drove back without dh as he decided he was going to stay an extra couple of days), I looked up from our cabin to where Alexander rests now and lost it. It was sooooo hard to say goodbye and leave. I just cried the first 4 hours while I was driving. I missed him soo much and wanted him back and kept asking why, why, why...

Even though my heart aches and I'm crying even as I type, I know Alexander is okay and watching over us. I just wish he was here in my arms instead.

Hugs to all!

Mom to Alexander, 3/21/05-3/21/05, severe pe

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