So frustrated rant,(its ok to skip this thread)

[lucy]

Hugs to you both, and many tears and many more hugs and kisses for our babies[V][:(].

[cassie05]

I wish there was a way to make people understand and care for our lost babies. I recently had a close person to me see Kaitlyns pics for the first time and she started to appologize for not "realizing" that she was a real baby....this is also someone who saw my son in teh hospital who was smaller than her yet the realization still didnt hit. I wish I could take the pain away from all of us

[mom2tori]

Lucy, I wish there was so much more that I could do for you. I hate that you are so full of pain and heartache and if I could take even a smidge of your heartache away I would. Please know that I am always here for you and so is everyone else here. We love you!!!

[lucy]

quote:Time doesn't 'heal' as people like to believe, time gives you a chance to adjust and adapt to your new reality, your new day. Just one more day without a piece of yourself. Yes there are days where you wake up and smile but that doesn't mean that you are cured of this heartbreak and pain. It just means for this day you are able to deal with and handle it enough to keep living and keep putting one foot in front of the other without the huge load of grief pulling you down.

Alissa thank you so much that was very well put. Hugs and thank you all for being such good friends I cannot say it enough that I honestly do not know how far I would have made it without you all.

[julie f]

I couldn't have said it any better than Alissa.

Hugs,

[j betts]

Lucy,

I am with you on that!!

[mom2tori]

Lucy you are right to feel frustrated and angry with people. Alot of times people think that time will take all this pain away and you wake up one day and your life is back to normal and everything is right with world. Well it's not ever 'right' or 'normal' again. You have lost 2 of your babies, and with each loss a part of you goes with them and a part of you is forever missing. Time doesn't 'heal' as people like to believe, time gives you a chance to adjust and adapt to your new reality, your new day. Just one more day without a piece of yourself. Yes there are days where you wake up and smile but that doesn't mean that you are cured of this heartbreak and pain. It just means for this day you are able to deal with and handle it enough to keep living and keep putting one foot in front of the other without the huge load of grief pulling you down. For that one day you have conquered that grief and tremendous pain. But it is one day out of your entire life. The next day if you wake up and smile then you have won one more day and so on and so on until the grief becomes less powerful and the heaviness on your heart becomes a little lighter. Your heart will always ache for your children, they are a part of you and you love them so much. There will be a day when the heartache is not as overwhelming and all consuming as it is now. That doesn't mean you are 'healed' or 'over it' it just means that you have adjusted your life to keep living with this pain. Don't ask to be excused for ranting, this is the place where anything and everything you need to do to help you through the day is okay and the place where there are people to lean on when you need it and people who love you no matter what kind of day it is for you, good or bad. Be kind to yourself Lucy, you deserve it.

[lucy]

I miss my babies so much,and I am fed up with how lawyers have to mess with you and pretend to care while calculating dollar signs, or when they blow you off all together, of how people think its ok to tell me "thats just too bad" when they hear about my babies what in the world is wrong with them its "too bad" when you lose a shoe not your children I am SICK of hearing that. It makes me so mad because its so cold and careless.
I have spent most of the night thinking about things and I want to just run away, please excuse this rant I dont know whats wrong with me tonight but I am so frustrated and even a little angry and always sad and heartbroken.