New here with a Loss

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
belle8600
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Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:33 am

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby belle8600 » Sun Nov 05, 2006 10:26 am

dh and i decided to try again. i am scared but i know we have a better peri and a better protocol. i will be on heparin, baby aspirin and folgard. i am scarfed but hope my angel is watching out for me and will bless us with a brother or sister for her.

belle8600
Registered User
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:33 am

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby belle8600 » Sat Oct 28, 2006 04:05 pm

well it seems i have reversal flow in my uterine dopplers. the doctor also said that my tissues are very thin and dont get any bigger. the blood flow through them is very poor. it ended up clotting and caused my placenta to die. this is what also called the pre-e and HELLP. he said there is a 30% chance it will happen again. he said he would put me on heparin and baby aspirin. he said it might work or might not. he said at 18 weeks they will know more and be able to do more. he said i would have to be willing to terminate my pregnancy if need be to save my life. i am scared to death about it and dont want to lose another baby. i feel like i can really trust this peri. i know there is a different protocol this time around and i will be monitored better.
i am meeting with a surrogate attorney on Tuesday to find out info on that. i think that might be the better way to go. i just dont know what to do. any thoughts????

belle8600
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Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:33 am

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby belle8600 » Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:32 am

i have an u/s on Tuesday to see how the blood flow is in my uterus without being pregnant. i am scared because i think it will be bad news. this will lt me know if i can carry to term or try again. i am also awaiting further reults from the pathology report and will get those back on Friday. so nervous

raspbeari
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Posts: 486
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 06:21 pm

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby raspbeari » Tue Oct 17, 2006 01:29 pm

Erica, I hope your meeting with the attorney is promising.
I have done the same thing throughout this last year, explored other ways I could end up becoming a parent. My best wishes to you.
One thing I found out that surprised me really, was that while the months passed after the loss, I began to feel more and more like a parent. That in grieving for Kai, my heart opened up and I also came to love him more and more as time went on.
I do feel like a mother, even though my son passed away so quickly after he was born.

I am so sorry for your loss of Isabella.

belle8600
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Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:33 am

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby belle8600 » Tue Oct 17, 2006 12:27 am

i made an appointment to speak to an attorney about surrogacy. i am excited and nervous. i still have not gien up on me trying again. i havent made that decision yet. we have 8 frozen embryos left so i want to get as much info on gestational carriers as i can so i am prepared. my upcoming u/s and bw will tell us alot about trying again.

belle8600
Registered User
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:33 am

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby belle8600 » Sun Oct 15, 2006 04:55 pm

thank you for sharing. i am not offended at all and could use all the help i can get. i just spent the weekend with my 1 year old nephew and watching my husband and myself with him made me miss and want Isabella that much more.

please dont forget to light your candles tonight at 7:00 for national infant loss day. it is today october 15. hopefully all our angels will see them and know we are forver thinking about them

emersons mom
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Joined: Thu May 25, 2006 07:00 pm

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby emersons mom » Sat Oct 14, 2006 02:54 pm

I was just talking to a friend of mine, who lost her father in a difficult sudden death, and I know it is a different kind of grief, but she said she found alot of comfort in the book "Embraced by the Light" written by a Christian woman. I know my friend is very religious and she said the book was comforting to her...so if you are not offended by the Christian overtones I felt moved to share it as another avenue to let yourself heal. If I offended you in any way I am sorry just wanted to offer some help.

Wishing you best of luck in however you decide to add on to your family!

belle8600
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Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:33 am

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby belle8600 » Sat Oct 14, 2006 11:52 am

i have been doing a lot of thinking after therapy yesterday and i think i may want to try again. i have time to make this decision and still need to find out more about the pathology report but i feel i need to try again. i trust my drs and hope they wont let it get to that point again. i am hoping with the baby aspirin, better vitamins and heparin injections i would do better. i still dont know. this is such a hard decision. i am still looking into adoption and surrogacy. my peri want me to get an u/s with dopplers of my uterus without being preggers to see how the blood flow is normally. that too would make my decision for me. if it is not healthy to begin with, then i cant carry to term.
i am reading a book called When Bad Things Happen to Good People. it was written by a rabbi who had something terrible happen to his son. I'll let you know how it goes. maybe it will help me stop blaming Him and wonder why?

lalam17
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Posts: 132
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 05:30 pm

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby lalam17 » Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:36 am

I am so sorry for your loss. As a new member as well, I've found it comforting to read others' stories and realize that I am not alone. I hope you find these forums will help you heal and that you can be surrounded by compassionate friends.

froggie89
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Posts: 1823
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2005 04:36 pm

Re : New here with a Loss

Postby froggie89 » Tue Oct 10, 2006 09:00 pm

Erica,

I'm sorry for all that you are going through and for all your pain. Please remember you're not at fault for what happened. I'm sorry that you're appt didn't go so good today. I know that feeling of wanting to try again and having all those fears and doubts at the same time. It's not an easy decision to make. I wish you luck and peace with whatever you decide. You know we'll be here for you no matter what.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby. Sending lots of hugs...


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