Trying so hard to stay strong

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
mrs. sagara
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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby mrs. sagara » Thu May 10, 2007 03:20 am

Hi, I haven't visited this forum in a long time.
From reading your post I can see you are a brave and loving person.
I second everyone's feelings because I know that this is very important to you.
I also lost my son almost a year now and I understand the need to honor him and my other children.
I pray for you and I hope this brings you comfort.

heather h
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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby heather h » Wed May 09, 2007 11:03 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart just breaks for anyone who's lost a child and has to endure such horrible pain. I think the memorial party is a wonderful idea.. and i'm glad your grandmother is there to support you. It takes a mommy of an angel to know and understand this type of pain and loss... so even though your mom comes across harsh, maybe she just doesnt understand. So I say, You do what YOU want to do and what you feel is right.
I hope Maddie's day is just lovely and you feel a sense of peace and comfort.

Sending lots of love, hugs, kisses and prayers to all our angel babies....

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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby froggie89 » Wed May 09, 2007 09:02 pm

Oh Ashley, I'm sorry that your mom is not being supportive of what you want to do to honor Madison. You should do what you want to honor your daughter and don't worry about what others think. I think having a party is a great idea and I hope that it turns out wonderful for you.

Reliving the past and thinking of all the what if's and shoulda's are part of this journey that we all are making. I can say don't beat yourself up about what happened but it's easier said than done. I'll have those thoughts run through my head every now and again too. I think that's just a part of who I am now.

I'm sending lots of hugs your way. I'll be thinking of you this weekend. Let us know how the party goes.

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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby ecfeeney » Wed May 09, 2007 04:51 pm

My thoughts are with you, and I think you should do what YOU feel is right with respect to the get together...Kindest wishes from Ireland.

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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby pixie323 » Wed May 09, 2007 04:30 pm


I've only just hopped on and noticed your post. I'm so glad that you've decided to go on with the party. I think it definitely takes someone who has gone through this to understand what it means. It's great to hear that you have your husbands grandmother as support [:)]

I hope the party is wonderful and everything you hope for. Good luck getting your house ready!! Please let us know how it goes [;)]


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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby denise » Wed May 09, 2007 11:01 am

My thoughts are with you this week Ashley. I think the party is a wonderful idea, and am looking forward to hearing about it.

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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby duchess » Wed May 09, 2007 10:25 am

Thank you all for everything. I'm still upset with my mom, but I sent her an invitation anyway so it's her choice to come or not. I hope she does come. I talked to my husband's grandmother and she was telling me how wonderful she thinks the idea of a party is. She thinks it's the best thing she's heard in a long time. I think she understands so well because she's lost 3 babies of her own. It takes someone that has been there to really understand. So we're working to get everything together and to get our house ready for guests. I'll make sure to let you all know how it goes. Thanks.

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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby angelkat » Tue May 08, 2007 10:10 pm


I wish you peace....

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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby rosemary » Tue May 08, 2007 08:32 pm

Ashley....the other ladies have said it all so well. So many of us know just how you feel and what you are going through. I wish it were possible to take someone elses pain away, even for just a while. I wish you peace.

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Re : Trying so hard to stay strong

Postby jana m » Tue May 08, 2007 05:19 pm

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. My girls' birthday is the day after Madison's (last year it was Mother's Day). I'm so sorry that your Mom is not being supportive of you during such a difficult time. I really do think that if you want to have a party in Madison's honor than you should do it. You mother can choose not to attend if she doesn't want to (even though I'm sure that would hurt you). She needs to accept that you will never "let her go." She is your daughter and she always will be and I'm sure that not a day will go by for the rest of your life when you won't think of her.

I too have spent a lot of time "re-living" everything that happened around the time I was forced to deliver my girls. I think it's hard not too. Even though I know I did not willingly cause my PE and HELLP, a small part of me will always carry around the guilt that it was my fault, because it was my body that failed them. You're definitely not alone in your feelings.

I will be hoping for a peaceful day for you, whatever you decide to do and I will be thinking of your Madison as well. Please check in with us on Sunday if you are able to.

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