I think a good way to determine whether or not you will TTC again is through an informed decision. Yesterday I had my six-week (well seven weeks because I couldn't get an appt.) check-up with my gynie. I really didn't know what to expect but it was very positive. He sat with us before doing a scan and checking of my wound. He explained how Isaiah's death had affected him and all of his staff. By the way they sent me the most beautiful bouquet. Anyway, he wanted to basically know if we had any regrets for the way things were handled, his management, etc. I gave an emphatic, "No!" I told him I would do it all again just to know my son for that precious four weeks. Moreover, before my gynie got back from vacation, I was on bedrest in hospital and his colleagues were watching over me. They wanted to end the pregnancy then at 24 weeks when it is pretty clear that the baby is likely not to be "viable." Most of us know that 11 days is the normal expected time to go before having to deliver. Well, I went 29 days! If it had not been for my gynie's careful watch over my condition and stretching it out as long as we could, I may not have seen my son alive. Isaiah's death had nothing to do with my gynie, but I believe his life did. So, after listening to my side of things, he also said, he would not have managed anything differently, that he would treat me and any other patient in the same condition with the same medical management. I was so happy to hear his confidence in how he handled things - who wants a wimp for a doctor anyway?!?!? We then talked about the future and the research I have been doing through this website, internet, and some of the top pre-e experts here in South Africa and in the States. He was shocked at all the work I had done, especially talking on the phone to some of his professors (well, I didn't know they were his professors at the time [^]). So we talked about calcium, low dose aspirin (called Disprin here), etc. He didn't realise that we would still be living here for the next three or more years, so we told him and that he would be my gynie, I'm not going to anyone else. And all the experts I have spoken with here, on their own initiative, said they would be more that happy to work with us through our gynie on any future pregnancies. All this to say that my appt. made me feel positive about the future. As I said before, my DH and I have not decided definitively that we will TTC again but we are acting like we have. If so, TTC will start in October. Lots to do between now and then - emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. So, all of the information I have gathered has made me feel empowered. Some of it has been scary, but ignorance is no longer bliss for those of us who have experienced pre-e/HELLP.
Anika (32, severe pre-e)
Mommy's Angel Boy: Isaiah (1/20/04 - 2/17/04)
Born at 28 weeks 1 day gestation weighing 610 grams