So, what do you say........?

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So, what do you say........?

Postby tschnelle » Wed Mar 17, 2004 10:44 am

The post about whether or not you are a mother after your little one dies due to miscarriage or stillbirth was a great one, and it prompted me to ask this one.

What do you say if a stranger (at the hair salon, grocery store, etc.) asks you if you have any children?

Do you say, "Yes, my daughter was born in November?" and pray they inquire no further?

Do you say, "No, but we're trying" with a look of hope and let the subject drop?

Do you say, "Yes," then gently tell them about her death?

I think it is thoughtful for people to ask, and do not want to make them feel uncomfortable for attempting to get to know me better. I would love a truthful, yet caring answer that won't make them want to run and hide. I want to honor the memory of my daughter, but want to be sensitive to the feelings of others. Is is possible to do both?

Any suggestions? What do you say?

Tonja Schnelle
mommy to Grace Elizabeth,
born still 11-03-03 at 36wks and 5 days
due to PE & HELLP

Bel Air, MD

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