it's mothering sunday in the UK ,Hard day for me!

[sam]

Dear all
just wanted to find out how people coped on mother's day, i know the day is in may for you guys but here in the uk it's today. This is my first mother's day since i lost Jake.
I am having a really difficult day and am beside myself with sadness, i am missing my son terribly and no one seems to remember that i am a mum too!!!!
2 of my best friends rang today as they have just come back from their hoildays last night, but i just couldn't talk far too many tears, and they asked what was wrong, i said to them it's mothers day and then it clicked with them and said they were sorry for not realising, but why do people think that i am not a mother just because my child is'nt here pyhsically. It really hurts, and just feels like everyone has forgot that i had a precious child.
I have been feeling so much more positive recently but today feels like i took 1 step forward only to be dragged 3 steps back in my grief. No one around me understands because they haven't been through this nightmare, believe me i wouldn't want anyone to feel this way, but just for them to understand that i am the mother of a beautiful child.
Just needed to get these feelings off my chest i know you guys have experienced what i am going through, at least here i can VENT!!!! and people here will know what on earth i am on about.
LOL xxxxxxxx

sam
London,UK
severe PE/class 1 HELLP @ 27wks
13th oct 2003
mummy to angel jake
http://www.shattered-dreams.uk.com/jakehayman.htm

[josiah1112]

Hi Sam,

I'm sorry it is a hard day. I can only imagine what mother's
day will be like for me. It will also be my first mother's
day after the loss of my son. What helps me at times is
bringing up how I'm feeling to my friends first. This way they know where I am coming from. Spending time with someone supportive also helps. One of my friends that is single and without any children is one of the one's that has been the most supportive to me. I find comfort with her because she caringly listens and validates what I share. Is your mom close to you? Perhaps spending time with her can make the day more bearable. Bearable...making the day more bearable,
is the only thing we can do on a day like this, I suppose.

Take Care of Yourself and I'm sorry you have to go through
this,



Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

[sam]

Dear Gloria

Thankyou for your kind words
I am sorry for the loss of little Josiah there aren't any words to express my sorrow that we have all had to endure this PE nightmare to our's and our little one's cost![:(] You have just joined the other grp i am a member of in the uk!! i thought it was you!!

In relation to friends and family i just presumed they would say something to me but no one did, perhaps i just assumed they would!
I spent yesterday alone deep in my grief, with my heart oh so heavy.I am glad the day is over with and i made it through the other side and this new day today is a little brighter for me, another day for me to cherish my son.
I think people shyed away from saying something in case they hurt my feelings, unfortunately it had the opposite effect in that it felt like no one cared or remembered that i am a mum to a beautiful son. That made me a touch angry yesterday, grief certainly takes many twists and turns doesn't it?
But i know that my grief is just one of the affirmations of the undying love i feel for Jake as his mother.

yesterday wasn't easy by any means, but there is always tomorrow, i found that out when i opened my curtains ( sorry drapes!!)this morning and the sunlight streamed in and lit up my day.(v.unusual for grey old London in March!![:D]

You take care and i hope for some sunshine in your day too!




sam
London,UK
severe PE/class 1 HELLP @ 27wks
13th oct 2003
mummy to angel jake
http://www.shattered-dreams.uk.com/jakehayman.htm

[for faith]

So sorry that Mother's day was so hard for you, my first will be this May. People do have a difficult time with this and don't know what to say, but you wish they would have more compassion. Know that we all feel your pain. So glad that today was a better day, with a little sunshine. How funny, here in sunny Southern California, we have grey skies today!

Take care,

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - almost 4 (36 weeks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 weeks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe preeclampsia, passed due to NEC (intestinal premie complication) & Sepsis)

[sam]

Jill
Yes this day will be hard for you but surround yourself with love, i am sure Tyler will help you with that!!!
I presume that this day will be full of mixed emotions for you.
this mother's day stuff is so hard on top of everything else we are going through!! [:(]

You are correct in saying people should have a little more compassion and understanding in regards to our feelings for our little one's.
Sorry to hear of your losses i hope you have love and support around you when you need it!

I didn't mean to send the grey skies your way!!
But if it's any consolation it snowed, hailed and rained here today in the space of an hour, we do have the weirdest weather in the uk!!



sam
London,UK
severe PE/class 1 HELLP @ 27wks
13th oct 2003
mummy to angel jake
http://www.shattered-dreams.uk.com/jakehayman.htm