2 angels in 4 months time.

[jenn]

I'd do anything for a magic wand to know what has gone so wrong. Life can be so unfair and unexpected.
I never thought after having a living angel bless my life, that 2 could be in heaven afterwards looking down. What I mean is..
I figured if I was going to have a miscarriage it would have been my first pregnancy... not subsequent ones. It makes me a little mad at books I've read saying 2 miscarriages in a row is only 13% likely. Or that's is just really bad luck... That's not nice to say to someone who is grieving and looking for answers.
I never made it to my first peri. attp. which is Thurs. I'll still go looking for expertise. I already did genetic counseling when Blaze passed, and it turned up nothing.
So I'm going to quit while I'm ahead... going through this once was what I'd call the hardest thing I've gone through - and here I am again. I'm only so tough and my heart is only so repairable.
Jaidyn is the love of my life and I'm the luckiest mom in the world to have been chosen to be HER mom.
So in the end I'm sure time will heal wounds (but leave a memorable scar) I pray for all that have felt this pain. It's the only aspirin there is for this hurt.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to express myself during this difficult time.
All my love.


Jennie (24)
Shad DH (28)
Mommy to:
Jaidyn 1.24.01 (30 wkr)
Severe PE
2lb. 12oz.

Heavenly Angels:
Blaze
12.6.03
(miscarriage)

EDD- Thanksgiving! 11.25.04
(currently miscarring)

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/jaid/

[mada]

HI Jennie,
I know how tough this is. It's just awful and you wonder how much more you can endure. Just wanted to share with you that I have had 2 miscarraiges as well and 2 healthy children. ANd, like you, I read it was just badluck and was upset abou that. I have heard that some clotting issues like factorV leiden (don't know if I've spelled it right) can cause misscarraige. Maybe it's something you can bring up to the peri. It sounds like you are still going. Again, I am so sorry for this loss and so soon after Blaze, I imagine it's devastating. Hugs to you and please let me know how your appt. goes. Take good care....Mada

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.

[catherine]

Jennie, I'm sorry. I know that this is hard. Early miscarriages are a sad confusion to your soul. Just when you find out that something wonderful is going to happen, it is taken away. On top of that, there is little that you can do to help the situation and all the books seem dismissive and unsupportive.

I'm sending you hugs,

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors

[julie f]

Jennie,

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine facing another loss, my heart breaks for you.

I am keeping you close in heart and in my prayers.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Southern California Coordinator

[for faith]

Jennie - I am so sorry for you. I had a miscarriage (at 11 weeks) in Jan. 03 and then lost my daughter (born at 30 weeks due to PE) in Jan. 04. I have one son, who is 4 and I love him so much, but also really want a sibling for him. We have been trying since the summer of 2002 to do this. Losses are so incredibly terrible, it is so hard to continue on. It is so hard to know how to go on and try again. We are still trying to make that decision.

I wish you peace.



Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - almost 4 (36 weeks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 weeks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe preeclampsia, passed due to NEC (intestinal premie complication) & Sepsis)

[jenn]

Thanks, it helps being reminded I'm not alone. It's not a subject that just anyone could understand - or take to heart what it feels/felt like to suffer such heartache.
I'm sorry we all had to meet under such circumstances. But I'm glad we did. Please know my prayers are there for your loss' also.
Love and prayers.

Jennie (24)
Shad DH (28)
Mommy to:
Jaidyn 1.24.01 (30 wkr)
Severe PE
2lb. 12oz.

Heavenly Angels:
Blaze
12.6.03
(miscarriage)

EDD- Thanksgiving! 11.25.04
(currently miscarring)

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/jaid/

[josiah1112]

Hi Jennie,

You are truly blessed to have your daughter. I think
having losses when you have no one at home is doubly
hard. Do you think that perhaps you may have tried
too soon? I know that some women are just blessed and
have good outcomes in pregnancies that are so shortly
spaced, but I think that you may want to discuss this
as a possibility with your doctor. I always think
that providing the best"variables" for future pregnancies
is the best. Especially for those of us who have had
difficulties in our pregnancies.
I'm so sorry for your loss.[:(] I wish you much healing.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

[jenn]

I have an appt. w/ the peri. tomorrow morning. I plan on asking a ton of questions, and was it too soon is one of them. My hormone levels were never tested after losing the Blaze, so I wonder if they might have been too low. In fact the more I think about it I'm leaning that way... I never had pg signs. No vomiting, sore chest, and what not.
But who knows. For now it's a mystery. I also wonder if the trama to my physical body from such severe pe/hellp with Jaidyn is playing any role in this? Prob' not, but someday there will be more answers about PE and the roles it plays.
So I'll keep in touch after I go to the peri in the morning.
I love you all - thanks for being there to catch me when I was falling.

Jennie (24)
Shad DH (28)
Mommy to:
Jaidyn 1.24.01 (30 wkr)
Severe PE
2lb. 12oz.

Heavenly Angels:
Blaze
12.6.03
(miscarriage)

EDD- Thanksgiving! 11.25.04
(currently miscarring)

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/jaid/

[julie f]

Jennie,

Please let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow, I will be thinking of you.

I hope that the peri is able to give you some sort of explanation or, and answer to "why?". But, sometimes, I think, there are just no answers and that is just so hard to bear. We all want a reason and we all want a fix, I pray that he is able to offer you something. If not though, please know that there are many success stories on this board from women who have endured more suffering that one would think possible. That is what gives me hope - that for every tragic loss, there are stories of hope - I pray that our stories will be those of hope to someone one day as well.

I am again so sorry for your loss.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Southern California Coordinator