by calliesmom (22 Posts), Sat Apr 17, 2004 04:24 pm
Just having a difficult week here. It's been 5 months since I lost Callie, but this week it felt like it was just yesterday. We got together with some friends from out of town a few days ago. The last time they saw me (this past summer) I was newly pregnant and excited. Our friend was also pregnant and due in September. We had such fun talking about how our kids would play together when we got together again. So, we meet up, and in she walks with her precious little boy, and in I walk with empty arms. It wanted to be excited for her, but just looking at that baby made me so terribly sad. I held him for only a moment because I just couldn't deal with the pain. Then today, we visited my cousin who has a new baby as well. Things weren't any easier.
Just when I feel like I can somehow deal with this, a week like this this happens and I feel devestated. What a mess! Please tell me that the rest of you continue to have this "two steps forward, one step back" syndrome too. I feel like I'm going batty.
Thanks for listening to me babble,
Mommy to Chase (born 31 weeks, emergency c-section due to abruption and PE), and to Callie (my angel, delivered at 24 weeks, stillborn due to severe PE and HELLP)