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Unfortunately I've joined your club.....

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

Re : Unfortunately I've joined your club.....

Postby amillhouse » Wed Apr 21, 2004 03:42 pm

Dear Leanne:

I am so sorry for your loss. But I am glad that you found this place for support. My son lived for 28 days and was born at 28 weeks and 1 one day. My OB said we had to do a c-section because of his size, his laying breech and, most importantly the severe pre-e. I know you are asking about stillbirth and c-sections but I seem to remember that pre-e was an important factor of him being born by c-section. Perhaps if your doctor/midwife had recognised that they would have done c-section? I really don't know. I wist you the best and all comfort in this very difficult time.


Anika (32, severe pre-e)
Mommy's Angel Boy: Isaiah (1/20/04 - 2/17/04)
Born at 28 weeks 1 day gestation weighing 610 grams
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Re : Unfortunately I've joined your club.....

Postby catherine » Wed Apr 21, 2004 04:20 pm

Dear Leanne, I'm so sorry for your loss of wee Jonathan.

I can answer the induction v C-section question. Not from personal experience, but from a close friend who had to do through the same process not so long ago. Interesting, and possibly heartening in the years to come if not right now, it was done for your benefit. OBs really don't want to do C-sections, particularly on women who won't be trading the pain and risks of major abdominal surgery and potential future complications in later pregnancies for a healthy baby at delivery. In my friend's case, a stillbirth at 28 weeks after two miscarriages and no living children yet, her OB told her that he really wanted to leave her with an intact uterus so that if she wanted to try again, she would be in the best shape possible.

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors
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Re : Unfortunately I've joined your club.....

Postby houstygirl » Wed Apr 21, 2004 09:33 pm

Yes that is the reason why they don't do c-sections for stillborn babies here. If my PE was picked up while Jonathan was still living they would have done one though.
I have just been to see my midwife and my BP has dropped to 110/74 so things physically are getting back to normal.
Still feel like crap though.....I'm looking into getting some councilling but it's just so expensive.

Mum to Angel baby Jonathan Douglas
born still 3rd April 2004 31wks, weighing 880gms
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Re : Unfortunately I've joined your club.....

Postby julie f » Wed Apr 21, 2004 10:23 pm

Leanne,

Have you checked with your hospital to see if they have any sort of support group for parents who have lost their babies? Another place to check is with the funeral home, they will often have info on support groups as well. Most support groups do not charge a fee and you may find that they can be of great comfort.

Thinking of you,

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Praying for a miracle... TTC #2 is a go!

Southern California Coordinator
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Re : Unfortunately I've joined your club.....

Postby houstygirl » Thu Apr 22, 2004 02:15 am

I have recieved cards from the Baby Bereavement group and another called Compassionate Friends...I had forgotten about them. I might call the Baby Bereavment group...My mum went to Compassionate Friends when my brother died and found that it held her back in her grieving...as in didn't allow her to move on. I might call and see how it goes.

Mum to Angel baby Jonathan Douglas
born still 3rd April 2004 31wks, weighing 880gms
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Re : Unfortunately I've joined your club.....

Postby josiah1112 » Thu Apr 22, 2004 05:11 am

Hi Leanne,

Compassionate friends is for parents who have lost a child
at any stage. Hospitals usually have a perinatal loss support
group for people like us who have lost a baby. My husband
and I participated in one of these after our son died. We
found it extremely helpful. The couples there really "knew"
what we were going through. We bonded incredibly with a lot
of them. I would highly recommend this. It is free.
I never heard of them doing a C-section for a stillbirth.
Even here. Actually, one of the fathers at the bereavement
group had said that he thought they would give his wife a
C-section and was surprised when they proceeded V birth.
I'm so sorry you (and all of us here) have had to go through
this. Our scars are deep. Take Care of yourself and please
check in and let us know how you continue to heal.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
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