Originally posted by Catherine
Shonia, I think that I can offer a practical answer from the perspective of the mom with the baby. One of my close friends lost a baby around the same time as you. Not preeclampsia, an unsurvivable birth defect which meant that the whole time that we were actually having our daughter (born in July) they were going through the process of having the problem diagnosed etc. We work together and I had to bring my baby to work with me quite often during the fall. I was dying inside for somewhat the same reasons as you suggest. I was very afraid that she would think that I was rubbing my baby in her face etc. It has been a real struggle for both of us to speak openly, both then, when the issue was acute, and now, when some time has passed. We have come to a situation where I don't ask her if she wants to play with Chloe, but if she comes over and asks, then she gets first chance. I guess that everyone heals in their own way, and at their own pace. I know that I would never be offended and my feelings would not be hurt if she told me that she just didn't feel up to interacting, especially when everyone else clusters around cooing etc. I always perceive that as salt in the wound.
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
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