A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : Suggestions...

Postby crystalw » Tue Oct 14, 2008 06:03 pm

ann marie
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Re : Suggestions...

Postby ann marie » Tue Oct 14, 2008 05:09 pm

Thanks everyone for the tips and insight. Thank you for helping me to help her. Funeral is Friday so I will see her then.

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby suleaf » Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:20 am

My friend knitted me a stuffed owl. She wrote a note that said, "Words cannot express the grief I feel for you and Q so this is what I did".

It's odd but it meant so much- her work and effort symbolized love from her and I was so touched. I keep it with my on my bookshelf near my memory box for Mira. Her actions told me more than any words.

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby annes » Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:02 am

Friends of ours had tulips planted in Central Park for Griffin, that was my favorite thing, it just felt right to me. Another friend had Griffins name added to an order of nuns (Catholic) who do prayers everyday for those on the list.

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby joker » Tue Oct 14, 2008 09:19 am

My aunt and uncle sent us lots of food, Omaha steaks, frozen lasgna, was probably the most helpful thing people did for us because it meant that we did not have to worry about meals and eating was really the last thing on our minds. I agree with Rosemary that helping her when she has to go back to work would be good...going back to work is really hard. It means that life goes on, even when you don't want it to.

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby jsu_work » Tue Oct 14, 2008 08:58 am

Thanks for asking.
Being there is a big one. Just allowing someone to let off the steam from a bad day. Especially after 2 or 3 weeks have gone by. I have a friend who hiked with me not long ago who just let me go off on how bad the world was and i felt so much better afterwards. It's been over 6 months and I still have difficult weeks.
Comfort foods.
Books: Three cups of tea, Eat Pray and Love, PS I love you.
A friend made a DVD
Another friend wrote a poem to her
Make life as comfortable as possible because it's going to be a long year.

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby rosemary » Tue Oct 14, 2008 00:35 am

I appreciated the cards that I received. My family bought a tree and had it planted in a state park for Elliott.

I saw that you mentioned that this was a coworker. One thing that you might be able to help with is her transition back to work. Going back after a loss can be devistating. Perhaps if the time is right, you can talk with her about how she wants her return to go or handled by other coworkers. Or maybe you could organize some pre-made dinners for the family.

And I think the most important thing - just be there for her - to listen - to cry. Your friend is really blessed to have you. Wishing you both peace.

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby emmasdaddy » Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:00 pm

A few of the kids from church and their grandmother bought a star in memory of Emma. So Emma is not only in Heaven but has a star named after her. That was one of the most special gifts we have received since she went to be with Jesus and her great-grandparents.

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby angelkat » Mon Oct 13, 2008 08:45 pm

How sad....

There are a few things that stand out to me.... One is a picture of Jesus in a rocking chair holding a baby (it's a wonderful hand drawing - I can look on the back of the frame for information if you need) and the other was a tree planted in the local park with Katlyne's name on it....

You are a great friend....

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Re : Suggestions...

Postby biogal » Mon Oct 13, 2008 07:08 pm

Hmm, that's a tough one. I know I did not like the flowers that people sent. I hated to watch them die ... it felt like a reminder of Myles's death. I too appreciated people asking me how I was dealing/coping with things. I appreciated people who brought food, cleaned my house, and just stopped by to give me hugs. I highly recommend the book The Next Place ( ... 0931674328). I received two copies of the book and thought they were very beautiful. The book is a children's book, but the illustrations and message are inspirational. You are already an amazing, supportive coworker for seeking out advice from other babyloss mammas. She is very lucky to have you in her life!

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