Bad Luck

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
fionahk
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Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:40 pm

Re : Bad Luck

Postby fionahk » Sat Nov 29, 2008 09:50 pm

I think you are a very strong person for admitting how you really feel. After losing Austin, I didn't associate happiness with anything. I don't even show my wedding photo's to people because I was 27 weeks pregnant. I am now living in another country, pregnant again and still feeling sad on some days.

Take care of yourself,because that's what matters the most.

Blessings,

Fiona

kelly1972
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Posts: 261
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2006 08:38 am

Re : Bad Luck

Postby kelly1972 » Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:53 am

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with such insensitive people. Sadly it comes with the territory and some don't consider the death of a child important. It really hurts when a so called friends say such things. I can't count how many people have said such things to me including family. I have been in your shoes and have travelled the road of grief now for 6 yrs. It's very hard and no parent should have to deal with such a thing. Grief should never be measured in how long ago your loss was. You will grieve for your daughter forever. No one should tell you that its been 9 mths you should be over it. It will not happen. You go on grieving and dealing with the loss the best way you can. Take each day as it comes and stay strong especially as the holiday season begins. Thinking of you and wishing you peace during this season.

brianned5
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Posts: 567
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:58 pm

Re : Bad Luck

Postby brianned5 » Tue Nov 25, 2008 10:15 am

Friends and family can be very insensitive. You have a right to feel the way you do. We'll never get over the loss of our babies, people will have to accept that and hopefully be supportive.

jenanderson
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Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:56 am

Re : Bad Luck

Postby jenanderson » Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:18 pm

Lori said exactly what I was thinking not too long ago. I just couldn't figure out how to say it as well. I think you should consider writing a book, you have a gift.

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rosemary
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Location: Central, PA

Re : Bad Luck

Postby rosemary » Mon Nov 24, 2008 09:21 pm

Jane...people just don't get it. I am glad that you can express how you feel and sorry that your friend can't handle reality. You keep doing what you're doing - Super big hugs to you!!!

mnmom
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Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:03 am

Re : Bad Luck

Postby mnmom » Mon Nov 24, 2008 05:55 pm

I don't post here often. Usually I come here, pray for the mommys and daddys and angel babies, wipe away my tears. But I do come here and your posts are truly inspiring and amazing, both in sharing your journey and your support of others. I just want you to know that you truly have a gift. You will be an incredible nurse if that is where your journey takes you. Putting together your thoughts and observations over this past year might be something to consider. Your words have such power. I just wanted you to know that.

fiona
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 08:33 pm

Re : Bad Luck

Postby fiona » Mon Nov 24, 2008 02:54 pm

I think you should get the t-shirt printed.

Nine months is nothing when it comes to grief. You do it your way.

Many hugs.


jsu_work
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Posts: 730
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2008 04:06 am

Re : Bad Luck

Postby jsu_work » Mon Nov 24, 2008 01:45 pm

Thanks everyone for your support. It means a lot! I think I should write a little phamphlet about things to say to someone who is grieving. Number one: Listen. Say hmmm hmmm , tell me more. If you think that you should say more, remember that the person has had an entire hole ripped into their lives that no one else can replace. They must figure out how to live with this hole. The Holidays will suck. 3month 6 month 9 month and a year can be big months. Understand that and give a little extra support... and give room to let them grieve. 9 months later may not seem that big to you but remember that is exactly how long it takes to make a little one.

neslo
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Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2008 04:03 am

Re : Bad Luck

Postby neslo » Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:43 am

Jayne - You deserve to feel any way you want to feel. Some days are just better than others. If anyone expects anything else they are delusional. ((hugs))

debbie78
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Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 08:25 am

Re : Bad Luck

Postby debbie78 » Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:39 am

I agree. I am disappointed in your friend for saying that to you.
After 9 months, the grief is still very raw and very real (not that it ever stops being real), and you need to be able to express that if you choose to do so.
You should grieve however you need to and if it is breaking down and having a tantrum, then you do that. No one understands that better than us. You do whatever you need to. ((((Hugs))))


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