I Hate This!

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
laila08
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Joined: Sat Mar 07, 2009 03:24 am

Re : I Hate This!

Postby laila08 » Sun Mar 22, 2009 02:12 am

Katie, hang in there better days will come....i have found that venting and letting it out makes me fell a lot better. You are doing that and it is very healthy to do.

I will be praying for you!

kbunsey
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Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 08:36 am

Re : I Hate This!

Postby kbunsey » Sat Feb 21, 2009 04:32 pm

Thank you, everyone. February always seems to be a rough month for me even w/out grief. I think I have a little SAD and my counselor told me that Cleveland doesn't get enought sunlight. I guess we're one of only 4 cities in N. America w/ this lack of sun problem, so while it is colder in other places, they still have better sunlight, which makes a difference.

I was still crying and weepy and icky feeling on Thursday after work, then on Friday, I was hanging out w/ my husband, watching movies on TV, laughing and feeling OK. Greif is strange!

Thank you so much for listening, for the kind words and support. XO

debbie78
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Re : I Hate This!

Postby debbie78 » Tue Feb 17, 2009 07:50 pm

Katie, It's okay to feel that way. It gets better, then worse, then better again. It feels like a never ending cycle, and I am convinced it will always be. Somedays, you just take it minute by minute. Just hang in there and know that there are so many people who are "here" for you. Remember to be kind to yourself. <3
I'm thinking of you and hoping your days are easier.

for faith
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Re : I Hate This!

Postby for faith » Tue Feb 17, 2009 05:30 pm

Katie - Thinking of you, wishing you a better day today. As many of us, I have so been there and it is difficult....there are times when it gets better and then set backs come too. This is a great place to vent and get understanding like no other.

I wish you as much peace as possible in this journey...a tough one. Know we are thinking of you.

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jamie w
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Re : I Hate This!

Postby jamie w » Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:01 am

Katie,
I am wishing you a better day today although I know each day is a struggle. I am amazed at your strength to go forward and keep putting one foot in front of the other even when you would rather just lay down and die. (((HUGS)))

lola1971
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Location: California

Re : I Hate This!

Postby lola1971 » Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:37 am

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time Katie. I have been in your shoes and it is rough. I often wonder how do I get myself out of this funk. Or will I ever get out of it. There were days I sunk pretty deep that I really wondered if I would EVER be happy again. I often wonder if I will ever go back to the "old" me again- and I doubt I ever will. HAng in there. My current challenge is trying no to be bitter....and that is something I am working on daily.

The bad day will pass and a new day will begin. I also started reading the book "Broken Open"- it has helped me a little.

you take care.....

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rosemary
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Re : I Hate This!

Postby rosemary » Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:41 pm

Katie - there are so many of us who have been where you are and it just plain stinks. I hate grief too and if you feel like screaming, I think you should scream. Life after such an incredible loss can be such a challenge (I know I don't need to tell you that). Remember to be gentle with yourself and give yourself credit for facing all that you do everyday. And vent when you need to - you know that we're here and we understand.

Wishing you a peaceful day tomorrow. (((HUGS)))

kbunsey
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I Hate This!

Postby kbunsey » Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:05 pm

This is just so difficult! I hate it. I hate feeling sad all the time. I hate wondering what will happen in my future. I'm sick of being jealous of other people and their babies. I hate that talking about my pregnancy seems innappropriate, but women w/ living babies can talk about whatever they want to. I'm tired of trying to manage my PTSD. I'm want random memories from my PE to stop trying to sabatoge good days. I hate "trying" again. I hate the 2 weeks of waiting and wondering if AF is going to show or not. I hate staring longingly at baby clothes at Target, Kohls, Gap, wherever and then feeling freakish, wondering if someone saw me. I hate that box in my garage - the one filled w/ all my maternity clothes, books, gifts people gave me for the baby, "stuff" from that pregnancy. I'm tired of crying. I cried so hard this weekend that I busted a vessel under my eye and I have a work presentation tomorrow! I just want to SCREAM!!!! I just want to feel something other than miserable again. I hate you grief and I want you to get out of my life.

Thanks for letting me vent.


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