One Week

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
angelkat
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Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:26 am

Re : One Week

Postby angelkat » Fri May 08, 2009 10:58 pm

Sending you huge hugs... I very rare post anymore but I do read all of the G&L post as they are dear to me. It's been six years since I lost my little girl. All I wanted was to have another baby I didn't care what the doctors said I only heard what I wanted to hear. I never heard what my husband said to them NOTHING....

When I got preg with Casey I was at the doctors every week, then it became three times a week until I hit a point they thought it might get shaky. I was put in the hospital and delivered Casey at 33 weeks. He is the joy of our lives but Katlyne will always be with us each and every day. She is a very huge part of our family. At christmas each boy buys their sister a christmas gift (which we donate to the shelter)and the same with her birthday. I try to celebrate Katlyne life and hopefully bring joy for someone.

We find ways to deal with grief differently but the pain is still the same.

Wishing you peace......

love_the_daschies
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Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:53 am

Re : One Week

Postby love_the_daschies » Fri May 08, 2009 10:36 pm

Thanks for all the replies - the hubby did tell me he wasn't worried about whether we would be able to do this again later, he mentioned how every doctor brought up on their own that there are many things we can do to intervene before this point in future pregnancies. So he told me not too worry that the chances of succeeding in bringing home a little one ay some point that helped me focus on what was lost and knocked me back to the present.

darateacher
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Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 07:28 pm

Re : One Week

Postby darateacher » Fri May 08, 2009 09:00 pm

I, too, had the statistics running through my mind when I lost Aaron. It stinks to be on the 5% side of it all!!!! I'd never heard of a late pg loss either. I'd heard of stillbirths before, but only due to cord accidents.

I totally wanted to be pg again the day I left the hospital without my baby boy. I couldn't stop thinking, "I'd be so happy if I were pg again." Like you, I wanted to finish what I'd started. Felt like I'd been gyped of a complete pregnancy, as well as Aaron having had too short of a life with no chance.

ITA with the ladies...the time to TTC will come up fast. It feels like forever now, I know...I had to wait 5 months before TTC, and every day seemed soooo long and painful to get through. One of my friends who also lost a baby gave me some sound advice. She said to take it minute by minute, then hour by hour, day by day, and then, week by week. It was a dealable strategy to walk through the grief. But, pretty soon, my 5 months had passed, and I was able to TTC again. Time did start going by much more quickly...I got distracted after going back to work.

Please remember to cry whenever and wherever you feel it. Grieve freely and healthfully. Take care! We're here for you.

wrennie
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Re : One Week

Postby wrennie » Wed May 06, 2009 08:04 pm

its hard, i too couldnt wait to be pregnant again. I think that is natural. You just experienced the most devastating loss a person can have and want it back. Take it easy on yourself. You will be able to try again, i know it seems like forever from now, but it will get here quickly. I am so sorry you are coming to know this pain. A baby certainly helps fill your empty arms, but it is good to take the time to grieve for you little one. It will make it easier to get through your next pregnancy by allowing you to be more present to it, if that makes sense.

I NEVER heard of a late pregnancy loss when I lost my Elodie. It was a complete shocker, I was always quoting some stupid statistic I heard that over 95% of babies are brought home if you make it thru the first trimester. Little did I know what I was in store for. It is such a lonely place, BUT you are not alone and sadly this DOES happen. It is something we all struggle to wrap our heads around and live with.

thinking of you, and sending you hugs.

coffee_bean
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Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 07:07 pm

Re : One Week

Postby coffee_bean » Wed May 06, 2009 07:41 pm

Just trying to figure out how to live without being pregnant anymore was so hard those first weeks. After spending so many weeks and months focused on my pregnancy and on welcoming our baby girl, I was at a loss for what to do, how to go on. It does get better. Be gentle with yourself.

I also wanted to TTC again, knowing it can take time to get pregnant, the worries of the first trimester, and then knowing I would have to get past the point in pregnancy where we lost Bree. It takes so long to have the dream that you were supposed to have months ago.

Bringing Bree home and having her in her nursery was a special day for us. I hope it brings you some comfort to have Vincent at home as well.

Lots of hugs,

annes
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Re : One Week

Postby annes » Wed May 06, 2009 02:18 pm

HUGS, I know that it doesn't help to hear it now, but it will get better in time. Take care of yourself.

love_the_daschies
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Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:53 am

One Week

Postby love_the_daschies » Wed May 06, 2009 11:01 am

Well I woke up this morning at the exact minute of Vince's birth. This week without him has seemed like both the longest week and shortest week ever.

Then I feel awful because I will have my MFM appt. soon to go over what happened, and I want to be TTC already. It's not like I actually want to be pregnant again - I just want the outcome to be different. I can't stand feeling like this was my one shot.

Well, Today Vince's ashes should be ready for pick up. The house is a complete mess and I realy wanted to clean before bringing home his urn. I just can't.


I can't believe this can really happen. Who ever hears of it? I thought once you were past the first trimester it pretty much equaled you coming home with a child. We were going to have our little boy. Now I am so alone and empty and desparately wanting to try again to know I am not destined to fail everytime around.

But i guess in reality that won't help - I want my baby who I can't have

Jamie
Vincent b/d 4-29-09 ** 22 weeks


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