Been a year...

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
debbie78
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Re : Been a year...

Postby debbie78 » Sat May 23, 2009 07:53 am

(((hugs)))

I am glad you had a peaceful day. <3

clayjmw
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Re : Been a year...

Postby clayjmw » Sat May 23, 2009 02:20 am

It has been 7 years since my beautiful daughter was born still. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I get so mad that it seems that no one else seems to remember. They might but wish not to say anything because of how I get. And like you it still seems to me like it was yesterday. I still remember every little detail. I remember thinking "they are wrong" she is going to come out and have a heart beat and breathe and I can say I told you. I believed that until the second after she was born. I know how you feel and I feel it with you.

shierman
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Re : Been a year...

Postby shierman » Wed May 20, 2009 08:46 am

Thank you all so much! I appreciate having everyone to share this kind of "stuff" with. I was so frustrated with family and friends and it really helps to know that mine aren't the only ones practicing avoidance. DH and I talked a lot about it yesterday and have basically come to the conclusion that it's our sorrow to carry and that it is virtually impossible for them to even try to understand. We just wish they'd try.

DH and I had a somber, yet wonderful, day. We took our two dogs to the park, had dinner, talked a lot about Gabriel and looked at our photos of the three of us, and released a balloon. My husband is not the sentimental type AT ALL and he really enjoyed the symbolism behind the balloon. Overall, it was a lovely day remembering our son and definitely something we can make into a birthday tradition!

brianned5
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Re : Been a year...

Postby brianned5 » Wed May 20, 2009 08:00 am

Yes it stinks. Kylie's 1 year anniversary's are coming up in July and I am also expecting around the same time you are. People think we're okay now that we have another little one to look forward to. I'm thinking of you, your sweet Gabriel and the little one in your womb!

kbunsey
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Re : Been a year...

Postby kbunsey » Tue May 19, 2009 10:38 pm

It does stink - even after a year! I'm coming up on my year anniversary too and I'm pregnant again and due right around your date and I have not forgotten. Moved on - I suppose - but moving on doesn't mean that you erase the past. How could you!? We spent 26 weeks with our babies - that was forever in their lives. And we never prepared to have to release them so soon and in such a manner - we prepared to get to know them - not to let them go.

I agree w/ Anne S also - people's not acknowledging it isn't so much about us it is about their discomfort and their wanting to be OK with it. People so badly want everything to be fine, especially us, so then they can be fine because life is supposed to be happy, especially when it comes to babies. Babies are supposed to bring joy into everyone's live, not sadness. My cousin never said anything to me or gave me the sympathy card she bought last year b/c she didn't want to further upset me or catch me on a good day and start crying and then I'd cry too - she finally told me this a month ago! I might tell her to give me the card this year.

I hope you did something special for you and your baby today. And if you didn't - you still can at any time. Be good to yourself, especially right now as you go through your current pregnancy. Keeping you close in thoughts and heart.

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rosemary
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Re : Been a year...

Postby rosemary » Tue May 19, 2009 09:03 pm

Sarah, my thoughts and prayers are with you, DH and your sweet Gabriel today. Wishing you peace and healing.

lola1971
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Location: California

Re : Been a year...

Postby lola1971 » Tue May 19, 2009 01:31 pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I understand how painful it is. I still cry for my first born. Even in my circle of friends/family, those that had miscarriages don't even understand me-which is very confusing and frustrating for me.

Nonetheless, I wish you peace today.

annes
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Re : Been a year...

Postby annes » Tue May 19, 2009 01:28 pm

I am so sorry that the people around you have not acknowledges this difficult day. I think, that often people want everything to be "normal" and they think that if they mention something sad that will be too "hard" for the person grieving. I wish that I could tell them that the opposite is true, that pretending nothing happened really hurts. I hope you and your dh are having an ok day. Take care of yourself.

shierman
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 04:22 pm

Been a year...

Postby shierman » Tue May 19, 2009 11:34 am

It has been a year since we lost our son, Gabriel. I find it hard to believe that at this time of day last year we were talking to the doctors about scheduling a c-section before my situation became dire. Next thing I know, there's fetal distress and heart failure and I'm being run down the hall for an emergency cs. I remember it all like yesterday, but the thing I remember most is waking up already being aware that my son was gone. And, there is no forgetting the moment when Keith and I had to let him go to the morgue. No one should ever have to send their child to the morgue.

So far, though, the worst part of this day has been that no one seems to remember. I've sent out prayer requests as my way of reminding people that we had a son who we still mourn, but I've only had a handful of people let me know that we're being thought of today. I guess I shouldn't be asking for continued sympathy, but I want people to remember my son! I hate that people think that since we're expecting again that we've moved on, as if we can forget. I hate that this sorrow is all our own and that no one will ever be able to identify. I know you all can relate when I say that there is nothing to love, except your sweet child, in all of this. It just completely stinks- even a year after...


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