2 months

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : 2 months

Postby imemc3 » Sat Apr 17, 638619 8:41 pm

Keeping you in my thoughts today. It is difficult to find a new normal and it takes time. From one day to the next you do not know how you are going to feel or what triggers are going to make you upset. I really sucks at time. Sending you a (((hugs))).


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Re : 2 months

Postby mrs.magdaleno » Tue Apr 06, 638619 6:37 pm

"I feel so much better getting all this out. One day at a time. I don't need to have all the answers today or tomorrow. I just need to keep going forward."

You are absolutely right. (((HUGS)))Jamie.

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Re : 2 months

Postby atvlady » Thu Feb 18, 638619 12:30 pm

Jamie, hugs to you and hugs to all of you! I had Class I HELLP on June 6, 2009, delivered our daughter, Darren, at 10:33 p.m. She passed at 11:53 p.m. My hubby and I held her until she died. I still feel empty inside. Empty crib. It doesn't bother me to go into the nursery or see other babies or pregnant women. It makes me P***** that this happened to me! I did everything by the books with this pregnancy and daggone it happened to me again! I saw my psyc and she said I am having post partum. The way I see it, there is no way to get rid of these emotions or feelings, time only makes it easier. I thought it was hard when my mom died in 2003 but this is FAR FAR worse. Noone should ever have to bury their babies. My therapy now is connecting with the women in my community have had HELLP and pre-e and posting on this forum and doing research on the internet about LA. Loss is something you can never get over, time only makes it easier.

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Re : 2 months

Postby me793462 » Thu Feb 18, 638619 10:05 am


I am so sorry for your loss. I feel like what you wrote above could have come from me. I am feeling very similar to you at this point. It has been 2 1/2 months since I lost my son and I still feel so down. My therapist also says that I am not depressed and doing well. Though, I often feel so sad and empty.

Hang in there. I hope with time that the days get a little easier for you. Please know that you are not alone and we are all here on this board to support you.

Take Care!

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Re : 2 months

Postby wrennie » Fri Aug 30, 638616 4:47 pm

Jaime, hugs to you. Grief is a roller coaster for sure, it has ups and downs. Days you feel better and days you cant seem to come to grips with. Its great that you are so in tune with your feelings. It is good to know how to listen to yourself, so that you can do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Sorry the weather in boston is crappy. I used to live there so I understand. I hope it gets nicer so you can get out and breathe some fresh air soon! Sometimes a nice day to sit in the warm sun is just what the body needs to feel some energy again!

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2 months

Postby love_the_daschies » Fri Aug 30, 638616 5:18 am

Everything has been so hard lately. I think I may be depressed. I have that "just make it through the day" mentality. I like checking days off on the calendar because I am one day further from my loss... but what am I one day closer to?

People at work took down all the baby things I had up when I was in the hospital. I went into work the day before going back to get all of these things and was so relieved someone else had taken care of them. Then the past Friday they were given back to me. Why? I appreciate having them and putting them in Vincent's memory chest - but I could never imagine the pain of seeing them again. Ugh.

I'm so tired and have no appetite - I have thrown up a few times the past week and slept many hours. Smells are just so overwhelming. I saw a dr. on Friday 6/26 who mentioned she thought I may be pregnant again, but it would be too early to test. I was wondering this myself, but now feel as though it may all just be depression. Inside of me is so blah that maybe everything on the outside that is full of life is too much to handle?

I must admit that I find it hilarious that the weather right now in Boston is awful. It is like the 3rd or 4th rainiest June on record. I joke that it is weather to match my mood and it makes me happy to see it gloomy outside and not sunny. My coworkers will probably kill me if I burst into laughter when the rain starts again :)

My psychiatrist firmly believes I am not depressed - just down about a crappy hand life dealt. He thinks that as long as I function, work , go out for a few beers with friends that I am doing O.K. - so I guess I will have to trust him (after 6 years of seeing him!). I am sure my anxiety doesn't help.

I saw a rheumatologist on Friday. It was AWESOME!!! My underlying disorders only showed a positive ANA at the lowest level considered positive and some anti-ro antibodies. She doesn't think I have auto-immune issues - YIPPEE! She would recommend extra u/s in future pregnancies to check for heart block that anti-ro antibodies can cause, but said I would be receiving these extra u/s anyways probably. She did also tell me to just stop in if I ever get a rash (I work in the hospital right down the hall from her) then maybe we would examine the possibility of lupus further.Oh and blood pressure weirdness - the machine got 144/95 at first so I asked for an immediate re-take, not in the right arm - not with the larger cuff, now 150/100. The nurse then asked me why I wouldn't let her use the right arm and I explained it was less accurate blah blah blah - please manually take my pressure - 130/66. WTH? That different? The nurse was shocked and said the clicks were clear as day though. This is in line with other manual readings. Grr.

At the end of the appt. she asked if I was waiting to try again or going full steam ahead now. I told her I wasn't waiting/ wasn't preventing and she was very supportive. Which was nice since absolutely no one in real life besides my doctors know I am not preventing.

I feel so much better getting all this out. One day at a time. I don't need to have all the answers today or tomorrow. I just need to keep going forward.

Without this board I don't know where i would be. Thank you all for caring.

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