It's been a month already?

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
darateacher
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby darateacher » Tue May 11, 638619 5:31 pm

Ashley,

I've been seeing a therapist since I lost Aaron. Yes, it does hurt for a very long time. I still cry at night, and wonder if Aaron thinks of us in Heaven the way we think of him on Earth. I guess what helped me to find my "new normal" was to listen to advice one of my friends gave me. She lost her daughter (unexplained stillbirth)the year before I lost Aaron. She said that you get through the grief minute by minute, then hour by hour, then day by day, then week by week, and month by month. It takes lots of time and lots of babysteps. Note: it's "get through" the grief, and not "over" it. BIG difference. We go through the different phases of grief and grieve in our own ways, but it doesn't end, it changes over time. Please continue to take care of yourself and grieve healthfully...cry when you feel it, and ITA with the pp, therapy does help.

neslo
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby neslo » Mon May 10, 638619 10:22 pm

I agree with Debbie - the pain never really goes away, you just get better at living with it. I also agree with Alicia - therapy is a wonderful tool to help you deal with grief. Just be gentle with yourself and take all the time you need to adjust.

mrs.magdaleno
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby mrs.magdaleno » Mon May 10, 638619 9:23 pm

Ashley,
I too don't believe time heals everything. It's been almost four years since I lost my Jake and I had to see a therapist again. I think therapy is a great thing. I wish you so much peace in your "new normal" life.

(((HUGS)))

missingjasper
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby missingjasper » Fri Apr 30, 638619 3:44 am

Ashley, Big Hugs to you.

I agree time does not make the pain go away. It just gets a bit easier to deal with.

debbie78
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby debbie78 » Sun Apr 18, 638619 5:00 pm

(((Hugs)))

I agree that time doesn't necessarily make the pain go away. You just learn how to deal with it better. My husband told me when Sophie died that he didn't think it would ever get better, it would only get easier. He was right.
I always say I have a bandaid on my heart. It will be there forever.

I am sorry that you know what this feels like-- I wish you didn't have to.

I am wishing you peaceful days.

imemc3
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby imemc3 » Sat Apr 17, 638619 8:28 pm

I believe the pain really never goes away. There are many events throughout each year the help to remember a precious angel. It is like we have to find a new normal. It takes awhile to find a new normal but things do get a better. I am thinking of you today and sending you a (((hug))).

Elaine

brianned5
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby brianned5 » Sat Apr 17, 638619 9:10 am

I don't believe time heals all as I am almost a year out from Kylie's death and the pain does feel worse, but there is also way more hope and happiness in my life then shortly after everything happened. I HATE being alone, even if my hubby is here but sleeping. I'm at my worst moments when I'm alone. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way.

wrennie
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Re : It's been a month already?

Postby wrennie » Sat Apr 17, 638619 7:48 am

Ashley, im sending you big hugs. I am so sorry you know this pain now. It isnt fair and I hate PE/HELP too, your not alone! We will never understand why we are the ones that got this card, and why we have to bear a sadness in our hearts that runs so deep that most people can never understand it. I hope that you find some comfort in seeing a therapist and I hope that you see the strength that you have in yourself. You will still grow to know Nolan and he will always be a part of you. No one can take the love you have for him away, not even these horrible diseases. I wish you peace and strength and healing. It takes time, dreaded time, to ease the pain. take care girl.

ruby608
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It's been a month already?

Postby ruby608 » Fri Apr 16, 638619 12:20 pm

I can't believe it. Days I feel like its been a few days and others like its been an eternity. Tonight sucked because Chris was at work and my other plans fell through so I sat alone just waiting for the 230am time to pass.
I wrote a letter to Nolan during that hour and I feel a little bit better. I just hate this "time heals" stuff. It feels like it has gotten worse than it was the week he left. Maybe starting the therapy this week will help.
I miss him so much, obviously. I just envy all my pregnant happy friends... I want nothing more than to still be in the same spot they all are with Nolan still in my belly.

Screw you Pre-E & HELLP! I blame all this on you! Nolan was behaving by growing until he was big enough to be okay until you showed up and screwed everything up. I hate you!


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