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Re : been away a while but havent forgotten you!! long!

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 08:17 pm
by sam
thank you lovely ladies xx

Re : been away a while but havent forgotten you!! long!

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 05:43 am
by jules2
Dear Sam,

So sorry to read about Jake, and that none of your friends and family understand that you still struggle 6 years on. I hope that the anniversary passes as well as it can.

Best wishes

Jules

Re : been away a while but havent forgotten you!! long!

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:35 pm
by rosemary
Sam, you deserve to be happy and have joy in your heart. You and your sweet Jake are in my thoughts. I hope that tomorrow is a peaceful day for you. Many, many hugs.

Re : been away a while but havent forgotten you!! long!

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 06:02 pm
by catherine
Sam, as ever you and Jake are in my heart this time of year.

Re : been away a while but havent forgotten you!! long!

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:10 am
by annes
Sam, I am so happy that you have been away being happy! I think sometimes we do wrap ourselves in our little bubbles, but things have a way of sneaking in don't they? Hugs to you on this anniversary, take care of yourself.

been away a while but havent forgotten you!! long!

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 09:45 am
by sam
i have been away for a long time, so sorry!! let me explain.

i am not afraid to say i have been enjoying this new phase of my life with my beautiful 2nd son joe, i do not feel guilty about that because i have waited so long for my dream to come true and it did!!!! so i have been relishing every minute of my lil man.

I think i have been hiding from the PE/HELLP support/talk thing so that i do not have to think about it right???? but i forgot how much everyone supports you here and i realised thats whats been missing from my life. I have been taken over by lifes little unimportant but necessary things without realising that i have put my thoughts and demons about pe on the back burner, and thats why it has come back to bite me on the a**e. i just feel the need to come back into the fold, if you guys will have me xx

i feel so down and misinterpreted, particularly around special calendar days for jake (like now its his 6th anniversary 13th oct, everyone thinks i have PMT and do not think about what a rough time i am having because of this anniversary.just because 6 years have gone by they think all is ok, well its not i miss him and love him as much as the day he died, just the pain of grief is not so raw these days!!)

others just do not under stand like you girls do. there are no others like you, thankyou marvellous ladies for all your support over the years!!

i feel so upset to read about more new mothers and more beautiful children who have had their lives destroyed by this blasted disease. it kills me reading everyones heartbreak, if only it could stop (very wishful thinking i know!!) but sharing is so imprtant when we have been through this most terrible of tragedies.

so i would just like to share with you all and my son jake that i am ok but i am so sad and i miss my boy soooo much, i cant believe six years have gone by my angel boy.

Jake I want to say thankyou for picking me as your mummy, it is an honour my beloved, and also to thank you for sending joe to our lives.
i think of you everyday my darling, and my heart bursts with love for you, and it breaks everytime i think of the day we parted. you should be here with me and your little brother running around, messing about, having fun, cuddles and kisses. Alas it was not to be, why??? i still havent found the answer to that but i have found peace by not constantly searching for that answer.

i love you my baby, my firstborn child, you are so special it can not be put into mere words. you are etched onto my soul and no one can take that away from me.